if statistically, and scientologically
it's been proven, or factored that,
one out of every ten people in the world is gay,
every now and then,
when you're desperate to run into one of them,
because you need, really NEED to bond with one of them,
even for five minutes till you cum,
they should be around,
tonight, i was in typical joe oppedisano form.
was having sex, and didn't cum,
and driving home from my tricks place when,
out of nowhere,
like a mirage in the horizon,
i saw ahead of me,
one of the most beautiful things...
i rubbed my eyes clean to make sure i wasn't seeing things...
but there it was,
on the side of the highway,
a truck stop, rest area
and in the lot surrounding it was
thousands of 18 wheelers
and i thought....
now, i KNOW there's gotta be ONE trucker looking for a blowjob...
so i pulled over,
fixed my hair did,
reapplied my lip gloss,
fixed my smudgy face and pulled my shirt down to hide my gut,
pulled my underwear out of my crack,
skidmarks were left, as they are nothing new to a trucker
and walked outta the car with every intention,
every last hope that,
this would be an easy catch.
i mean, there were thousands of trucks lined up,
surely ONE of these guys
and preferably more...
there had to be ONE faggot truck driver in this lot...
so i sashayed,
did y best Ru-Paul runway inspired by Naomi Campbell walk,
but a butcher version,
pretended i was on my cell phone,
so it didn't look suspicious,
and i walked back and forth
for over an hour,
not ONE proposal,
not one whistle,
not one wink or "hey baby"
i was shocked,
outraged and upset...
what did a once cute all American boy have to do to get some trucker cock?
so, i got in my car,
sat for a moment,
thought of every other thing i could do,
step i could take,
move i could make,
so i drove home,
disillusioned and depressed,
and realized as i walked in the door that,
this had nothing to do with me...
it had to be a mistake in calculations caused by some scientifical blunder.
there's no way one in ten of us sucks cock.
it's impossible, because...
now i had proof.
i had looked science in the eye and deemed it wrong,
made a fool of the calculations and declarations.
there really are only 50 fags in the world...
and i've already slept with them.