i was almost an abortion

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

evolution comes full circle.

dusk turned into darkness which faded into dawn.
dawn becomes morning, daytime,
by the time it starts to form.
and so from very little steps
comes leaps and bounds above the rest.
for it's the quiet one that has the most to hide,
nothing he gives away,
except his fear of being caught red handed.
where can he go to next?
what wouldn't bore him,
would give him the freedom he always craved, and got,
and when and how would/could/should this happen.
he was exhausted.
worn down,
only the smallest ambition was left in him.
his once steel balls
were not responding to their situation...
or maybe they were.
he was left solo, alone, abandoned by the very ones who once
raised him to glory,
stood beside and behind him,
pushed and created the monster that dies to young.
it was about to get a Hollywood ending,
as the monster somehow survived,
morphed into something new,
and became the extreme ruler of the world.
it could happen.
it could.

now, to just get it started...
were the people he once surrounded by just waiting in anticipation to see him fall?
or, were they anxious to see how far and high he would soar this time?

time would tell.






one way or another,
he knew he, in the end, may not ever be happy again.
and for a second,
he almost cried.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fear and loathing in nyc




























is it fear or loathing that keeps me safely. securely satisfied with everything i don't want. as i look around, i can't make sense of some things that i used to take for granted. ho are we i wonder...
i know i'll never get an answer to that timeless question, but it sure would be nice to at least have some of the tension in my back and shoulders released just because i could relax, if even for a little.
as i search for a new home, i begin wondering why i have to settle. although theres everything i was and a new generation of it now, they have a more modern, dont care what the fuck kind of whimsical lyrical dont fuck with me i know better mentality.
but who are we, really.
who am i anyway i ask myself over and over again.
i had one career, sacrificed it for another, and now i'm sacrificing myself, my mind, my body, my soul, and my home...
i'm lost.
i want to wake up from this dream...
it's from my own valition though,
so, i guess i deserve the outcome i get.
but i do feel it,
i can hear it in the distance,
it speaks loudly in my ear at night,
whispering, and then shouting,
what the boy must do is make descisions that
for his whole life, he avoided.
theres no time left,
strike 2, bases loaded, and strike!
the cat's 9th life...
the final chapter in the epic novel that becomes a television "comedy" spin off, which then becomes a movie, which in turn becomes action figures, etc. etc., etc.
it's all too insane.
it's all too scary.
but,
it's here.
now is the time mr. oppedisano.
make the right choices.
everything before was a test.
everything from here on out
is the real deal.
and i'm afraid.
but i'm also invigorated.
having gotten rid of some ideas and rituals i go through upon returning to the city, now i can concentrate, search, climb, run, walk, kneel, and beg...for it to all come around and make me forgive myself for forgetting who i am, was, can be.
it's the finale.
teres somethng sad about it,
yet, it's a "comedy" with special guest stars Tony Danza and Mellissa Guilbert.
it's all too mde up for a fairytale ending...
the comeback kid.
the return,
everyone loves a good come-back story...





don't they?

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

without love

The Doobie Brothers - Long Train Runnin (sure is pure rmx)



down around the corner,
1/2 a mile from here
ya see them long trains running,
and you watch em disappear.
without love
where would you be now?








without love
there would be no reason to try.
no reason to wake up,
only reaon to cry.
no one to hold
no one to kiss
no one to stand by your side
no one  to miss.
nothing to anticipate
nothing to cherish
no one to make you wait
no one to embarrass
no one to kiss goodnight
no one to hold you tight
no one with who you love to fight
it would be a tragic oversight
if there was no love
in the air tonight.
 









Monday, August 27, 2012

Like A Virgin 2012

Madonna Vs Calvin Harris - Like A Virgin 2012 (Dj FmSteff Mash-Up Radio ...




i'd been had!
i was sad and blue,
but you made me feel,
shinny and new...
gonna give u all my love boy,
me fear is fading fast,
strap on a dildo
and fuck your ass!



i have everything i needed to get done today
in record time i might add.
amazing what a good nights sleep can do for you.
i feel like a virgin,
clean, fresh, untouched by molesting hands
that want nothing more than to bring me down.
i made it through the wilderness.
somehow i made it through,
2 weeks of hell and solitude.
so now i know
what i don't want,
lesson learned,
i get it,
what?
you think i'd do the same thing over?
you're wrong,
get lost,
move on.
next!
over!
you're about to see
an amazing feat
on larger scales
than can be believed.
no smoke and mirrors
no tricks or schemes
it's now or never,
and it's extreme.
another place
another time,
i see what's coming,
i'm gonna make it mine.

 http://www.blacksmoke.org/danger/



 http://www.blacksmoke.org/danger/

upward & onward

Whitney Houston feat. Michael Jackson - For The Lovers








it's been a long, crazy week,
all i want is a little time...
to kick back, unaware of just how unkind
every second of every day
takes control and turns away
another page
of your life's decay.
and one day you wonder
where did it go?
wheres the boy i used to know
but he is gone,
away to far
from where you thought
he'd be, a star.
his star burned quick,
his star burned bright,
his eye created
visions of unimaginable delight.
and now he looks ahead, not back,
upward and onward
is the new plan of attack.
to be what he once thought he'd be,
what he knows is truely
his destiny.





it's out there...






i love scouring the internet for the most inappropriate imagery imaginable...
and it's out there.
my favorite, to date, is this insane piece of homo-erotica
insanity or hypermasculinity?
that is the question...












 

"HOW DO I LOOK?"

Dimitri From Paris - A Very Stylish Girl (Pull From NYC Mix)








how do i look?

i WAS a very stylish girl,
at one point, i was sent garment bags every season from designers like Michael Kors, Dolce & Gabbana, John Bartlett, bla bla bla....
thats another lifetime ago...
now a days, i find my style in other less impressive places. my taste for vintage and my knowledge of style, and my love of deconstructionism, make it hard for people to tell if what i'm wearing is actually expensive, designer fabulosity, or just some rag i literally picked up off the street. most times, it's both.
David Dalrymple is always my source of outrageously shredded to perfection ensembles, and he always is one who can throw something together, step back, and go in for the kill with a pair of shears in one hand, rolls of fabric or something glittery in the other, cigarette in his mouth.
it's the ONLY way to work.
he is a very stylish girl.
this weekend, i kick off the J/O world tour and am headed up to Montreal for a very stylish, very fabulous, very "who's who" pre-Black & Blue event in gorgeous Montreal. i am bringing 5 models onstage while the masses of muscle descend and dance, decadently, on the dancefloor. it's an event i'm psyched fr, as i'm working with the ONLY House of Luxury/Fetish/Kink in Montreal, the legendary Fetiche Armada and the Kinky Boys, who i know will bring their uncut monster cocks stuffed into fashions that make your mouth water (not the cocks, the fashion, silly!)
so, if you haven't marked anything in your calendars for this weekend, now's the time to get out of Pittsburgh and explore other worlds, where the men aren't cheap, as they all charge by the minute....



here's how the kids in NYC brought it for a similar event for the Black Party 2 years ago.
WERQ!







and what's on ur mind little girl?

what's on my mind,
hmmm...
today is the last day of the old me.
tomorrow is another day,
and so,
f*@# it.
i learned,
i get it.
i'm done playing games.
mama's back!




I Eat Cannibals






I Eat Cannibals - Remixed for Winnie Yu's Birthday Party 2010 ~

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4O1A-mmBW

whttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4O1A-mmBWw







 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when you wake up

it will be as if nothing before ever existed,

or never again would be.

it's the dawn of a new day,

a peaceful day

a day when man takes his final step into his evolution.

he has reached it, full circle,

and he no more cares to make the same mistakes twice.

when he opens his eyes,

he sees everything more clearly,

processes everything he hears with a sharper perception of where we were just 10,000 years ago...

we were cavemen.

animals.

and so, we do not ever want to take one step back,

not even for a day.

and so, he is man.

no longer child, no longer beast,

but man.

 

 

 

and a new day has begun.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

weekend blowout








it's not over till the fat lady sings,
or i shoot my load anyway...
i'm not  a pump n dump kinda guy,
since it takes me forever to bust a nut,
but tonight, out of te blue,
i was on skype strokin with a pervert buddy of mine...
and boom,
like, from outta nowhere,
i just explode a nice big load of cum..
right onto the motel room rug.
love it.
i love never having to clean up after fucking at a motel.
isn't it just expected that when you are sleeping in a room
where there's huge windows that face a pool,
and people keep their doors open, just askew...
isn't it ok to just say fuck it n bust ur nut on the fuckin floor?
damn, i'd take a crap on the bed before i left but
i kinda like this place,
and can assume i'll probably cum back.
ah,
i can smell old dried up cum in the carpet intermingling with mine...
creating some super strength staph infection ready to explode on jay's body.
yuck.
ok, i'm done.
lol




happy ever after

Whistle Flo Rida ft. Rihanna, Wiz Khalifa, Maroon 5, & Too $hort - NEW 2...

  


if happy ever after did exist
then why'd it have to all go down like this?
we live we love we push we shove
we try and yet it's never enough.
if we could go back and rewind
all the times we were unkind,
stop fighting,
just look me in the face,
then our past we could,
somehow erase.
do you think that there, maybe could be
alternative endings to our story?
i'll never stop believe in fairytales
how love and kindness
always prevail.
can we try
just one more time?
a love like mine, you'll never find.
so stop, let go, relax your mind,
cause now's not really the time
i need you, now,
please accept my hand
i truly hope you understand
just where i've been and
what i've seen.
i need to wake up from this dream...