the way he left things

though not exactly sure just where he stood,
actually not really even sure he could, technically, stand...
he glanced quickly around the room to try and spot someone who would,
maybe, still be by his side...maybe even stick up for him.
but alas, the room was packed,
yet not one face seemed remotely cordial enough to even approach.
so with that he decided to not look any further
as he didn't want to get himself more frustrated...
so he buttoned up the top button of his coat and flipped up the collar,
raised his chin and walked gracefully and without looking back,
through the crowd of disgruntled faces.
when he got to the door, he asked politely to be excused,
and when he was sneered at by the doorman,
he simply laughed and said without hesitation,
"fucker, you have 2 seconds to move before i kick your ass."
and magically, the door was opened.
in the distance he could see the clouds on the horizon part, as if a sea,
and sunlight beamed down and birds few upwards and chirped.
things could only be better from here on out, he thought...

and he was right.

King Danny Young Teen Bodybuilder

King Danny Young Teen Bodybuilder

who in this world

could ever love me 

as much as i love

myself??

who could possibly have the patience?let alone the amount of time, needed to stroke my ego and make me believe they aren't lying...is it possible? could it be? is there someone in this whole world who could ever love me more than me?

i can't explain

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portrait of an artist

when you are born with a gift,

you are considered "chosen".

some of the chosen ones grow, blossom and bloom spectacularly 

like wildflowers in a field.

they lift and encourages the spirits of everything around them with their fragrant petals and magnificent colors. and you would think that they were the lucky ones for being chosen...

think again.

the chosen are also the tortured.

their souls are exposed.

their hearts are torn open and bruised by the pain that they inevitably always feel.

for they know that they are usually misunderstood,

they are aware that they are considered strange, odd, or unlike the rest.

they are celebrated for their talent,

and then shunned when they move in a different direction,

which, is really, just growth.

they must create to feel useful,

they most times cannot think in a box,

so they are a lot of times outcasts who try,

but to trying isn't what naturally comes to them.

to try is to fail,

because when you are chosen,

it comes from so deep down within,

that it just exudes and flows freely.

the chosen are chosen to move society to a higher place.

to step forward and climb up,

to lift and rejoice and make the world a better place...

but the cost they must pay on their souls is immense,

and so they torture themselves and sometimes,

they burn out too fast.

never reaching their full potential.

never understanding just "why?"

never having the peace of the unchosen,

who just never seem to care, either way.

if they never imagined something better,

if they never envisioned a magnificent thing could be,

then they are satisfied with the ordinary,

and don't ever see the potential of what could ever be.

sad.

the boss

DIANA ROSS the boss (DAVID MORALES CLUB MIX)


i was so sure, 
so so sure...
but love taught me
who was the boss...

 so many times i think i am going in the right direction at the right pace, at the right place, but somehow it turns out it was unfortunately at the wrong time...

there are no "right" or "wrong" ways sometimes...you just have to jump in head first and sink or swim...

if it's meant to be, you'll tread water with no problem, but...

that's not always the case.

i try, my hardest, or, so i think.

but sometimes trying isn't the only thing...there's luck, timing, and just chance. it's not going to always come to you, your way, when you want, but it will come, if you give it time, patience, understanding, and if you just stop looking...it's out there, somewhere...

and when the moment is right,

it will be there, as promised,

probably even better and more amazing than you even dreamed.

but just don't let it slip away once you have it, because it also can be lost faster than you got it. hold on to it. enjoy it,

 cherish it...

love is the dream.

love is the boss.

love is the answer.

whistle a happy tune

it had been months since he first started this, what seemed then like, a world winded process that actually, in reality, was even more than he had even thought in the first place...

but here he was , almost at the end, and as things started to solidify and take shape, they  also ventured off into unexpected turns and near misses that almost threw him off course completely...

whew.

it was a lot.

and even though he could have done it maybe in less time had he not taken the side tracks and maybe if he hadn't  been attacked, and or had that illness that was not even his fault in the first place, he possibly would have been there sooner..

but, really, not by much.

his path was his path.

he took it the way he needed to take it to get there, and that was that.

he saw the clearing in the distance, and the  future looked bright. well, brighter, and at this point,

really,

that was all he could ask for.

and so, he continued...

head held high, shoulders back,

and a slight confident smile on his face.

95 Christopher Street apartment 3M

                                                                                                           my bedroom, in my bed, with the deer head my grandfather shot when i was 3 that was over my grandmothers fireplace till she died.

classic j/o

the 95 series

when your house is more than a home, and becomes your work space and studio, things get changed, rearranged, mixed up, used as props, and photographed...which, in turn, leaves you with memories of the home you no longer inhabit, but will never forget. such is the case with my home of 15 years, the legendary landmark Manhattan building, 95 Christopher Street which is now a memory, but it's insides and out were used in excess providing me with unequalled views, unbelievable structure and unparalleled experiences of a life lived to the fullest, when times were good. many people entered the building to visit, queen latifa, hundreds of gay porn stars, a few of them even legends...amy sedaris was my next door neighbor for all of the 15 years i lived there, her brother david, sarah jessica parker and her man mathew and their kid wandered in n out of my neighbors home, bumping into me and my dog buddy who sat watch at the end of the hallway every afternoon. quentin crisp still lived there when i moved in, but died a few years later. it wasn't uncommon to have amy knock and offer some home cooking in return for borrowing lights or something random for her newest coffee table venture...or to smoke weed at the end of a long day.
it was home, it was nice. it's now just a memory, but a fond one, and one i'll never forget, especially because it was my studio for so many years.
all of these shots were taken at various times in 95. some on the roof, some in my apartment, fire escapes, elevator shafts, hallways...u name it...i exploited it. 
luckily.

elevator shaft


rooftoprooftop


outside deck of Andrew Ruth's apartment on the 16th floor



my living room 


                             my living room


my bedroom

my living room



roof

trials and tribulations of true love

have you lost your mind?

can you even hear yourself,

and if so, do you understand what your saying

or have you totally forgotten what really happened?

it amazes me.

someone who you once loved,

someone who you shared a life with,

someone who you thought, even after all that,

was your friend...

turns out they are actually more sinister,

more hideous and evil

than your worst enemy could possibly ever be.

there of course,

is a back story...

one with twists and turns

highs and lows

ups and downs

that have brought you both to this place of uncertainty.

he said, she said,

we did,

you did...

fingers point, 

tables turn,

what once was good goes bad

another lesson learned.

but why is it that no one remembers that there was once upon a time, a long time ago, when we were one. when we loved, we laughed, we supported, we helped and most importantly, we cared for each other...before the milk went sour, the two of us held each other close, whispered that this, we hoped, was forever, and we sweetly kissed, softly touched, and surely wished that the moment would never end. can't we all just get along? don't you see that what you did effected me, very badly? or, is there just no sense of moral left in your body...

because, how i see it...

if you loved someone, i mean, really loved...

you will always love them, somehow...deep down.

they will always have a place in your heart...

things go wrong, things change...

but true love never completely dies...

why do we have to do this?

i said i was sorry...

is it so hard for you to see how you've hurt me?

and really...

do i deserve that?

Goodbye

Goodbye Stranger - Supertramp

...and

when i look behind me, 

my troubles will be few.

but what it is i have to do

makes it seem impossible to move one step forward to get away from you.

but i know it's what i have to do.

i used you as a crutch...

and i used you way too much.

i know that if i want to see clearly then

i must lose all forms of touch...

so goodbye stranger...

it's been nice...

hope i find my paradise.

funny how some songs take you back to a specific second in time, an exact moment, location, you can even recall the temperature...and of course, who you were with. this song is very special...it is the one way i still have contact with someone from my past who was once my brother, even the way we looked was fraternal, our minds, in synch, our hearts, similar...and one song, this one, was one we both said one day, at the same time, was one of our all time favorites. i don't know where he is now, i don't know how to get a hold of him..i don't think i should even try, because sometimes, things happen, and for that very second, you think it's the end of the world...but then...time goes by, and you forget.

but everytime you hear that song...

   it all comes flooding back.

but the time is here.

i know...

i do. 

j/o 

Alago-fied

2 different men,

from 2 different worlds,

with 2 different earlier career choices,

somehow,

in a world of billions of people

had a similar vision...

but with 2 different styles,

and 2 different approaches,

these 2 different men 

on 2 different paths

with 2 different goals

became 1 in a bond

that no one can break.

he is always kind.

he has always been my friend.

he is insane, hysterical, bold, brutal and shy 

all at the same time.

his wisdom goes beyond what books can teach,

his influence is understandable,

and his past...

his past is what legends are made of.

(did you know he is the person responsible for signing Metalica!?)

and in the end, 

he is a friend.

he is always there,

and always true.

he never lies...

he doesn't have to.

today i spent the day with him,

Mr. Michael Alago.

a character that any actor would die to play.

he and i get compared to,

people think we don't like each other

but the fact remains the sane...

he is my sister,

and i live for her...

xo

thanks for an amazing day,

and a wonderful dinner...

i am very lucky to have such great friends...

j/o

the man himself...