i was almost an abortion

Sunday, February 5, 2012


say anything you'd like to say,
be catty in a superficial way,
the things you think
don't mean a thing
she came for you,
the girl can bring.
she didn't go
just half assed
she came and brought it
all the while i gasped,
"for real?" i said,
can it be,
the fucking bitch is 53!
but bring she did,
she showed them all
she gave us show
i bet she even
made some guy blow
his load
out of his pants
that's how she rolls
and no one knows
where next she'll go.
Madonna, u rule.

Amy Sedaris-Goddess

anyone who knows anything about me knows...
i once upon a time lived at 95 Christopher Street,
apartment 3M
for 15 years,
and my neighbor
(with adjoining living room walls)
and good friend and
pot smoking partner,
the woman who fed me,
made fun of me,
encouraged me and stood by me
when i'd fight with my ex Brad,
(once she knocked after a fight to tell me Brad fought like a girl)
has a new commercial
being released, today,
during the Madonna concert,
i.e. Superbowl.
and it's genius.
i miss u Amy.

this is what REAL talent is about.

and taught me so much about being a person,
Amy Sedaris,

Doesn't Really Matter

how can i be
the very best of me
when everything i do
is something always new?
no matter how i try
one thing can't be denied,
that every step i take
is one step more than you'll ever make.
it doesn't seem to be
any different for me
to make one more mistake
when there's trouble, i elate,
cause from ashes do i rise
and return from my demise.
i've been down this road before,
and it's never been a bore,
for the problems that i've had
are now miles away from bad.
i've tried to make a change
i've tried to rearrange
i've given up false hope
and found a way to cope
with making each day more
than where i was before.
i might not be the best
but i'm better than the rest
who never learn from their mistakes
instead i challenge to be great.
so say what you'd like to say,
it doesn't matter anyway.

y o u

i must be living in a hole.
and not a hot hairy one either.
my strict personal philosophy of locking myself into a box and not looking at anything so as not to be inspired by whats happening with other artists and what they are inspired by. so instead of looking at what everyone is doing i close my eyes, lock the doors around me, remove any time/place/shape/form and content that may give me any inspiration or guide or steer me to do something i normally wouldn't ever do so that in fact, i am never influenced by anything or anyone else at that time, unless the artist or person who has done it is already dead, then it becomes more of an homage instead of a copy.
does that make sense?
so, even the normal little things in life, like how i get news becomes just a little harder, but the way i go about finding them, scouting them out, feeling their vibe and necessity in the world, makes for a journey to the end of the rainbow.
instead of just following, reading up on, or listening to others,
i choose to fumble upon, stumble across, or directly go to the things that interest me, making them already things that i relate to, yet, by going about it in such an abstract way, i feel like i get my satisfaction in doing it "my way". making it, in the end, something that i have discovered and or uncovered, for myself, my own consumption, and my own ability to use/abstract/derive or be inspired from, the said thing, whatever it happens to be, for my style and vision of interpritation.
case in point,
i have never been on his blog because i wrote this blog, more as a diary than anything for people to actually read, but i didn't want to know what Joe thought, or my dear friend Andy ( http://www.towleroad.com/ ), how they did a blog, so as not to be inspired to do what they did. well, i was relieved to find out today that n fact, our worlds are so unrelated, so many miles apart, that they are barely in the same universe. they do blogs of importance, give credit to gay society good, bad or indifferent, and help the homosexuals evolve with dignity, class, and a better understanding of what's happening in the world around (and to) them.
my journal that i call my blog, is a place for me to rant, obsess, talk, and figure out my art, my loves, my obsessions, and my depressions. i pay total homage to these men, and am excited to become part of gay society...lol.
their takes on normality and homosexuality, are simple, to the point, and yet, funny, intillectual, and sophisticated. i'm sold. i can't spell, but i'm sold.