i was almost an abortion

Thursday, April 25, 2013

the best things in life

the best things in life...

                                                                                                     ... are free.

although it seems like money is like water
pouring from our hands as if there is an unlimited supply
available to us, at all times.
when we hold on to things too tight,
we sometimes crush them,
and so, lose them forever.
it's when we have a good sturdy grasp
giving everything room to breath, grow and be happy
in it's own space and time
is when we discover that even though it has the chance to get away,
it stays close by
as to not lose the wonderful feeling it has there.

some people think that they must be in control of everything
all the time
and are furious when they discover that in actuality
everything they are holding on to is suffocating in extreme.

let it go,
let it be,
be man enough to understand
that if it loves you back
there it'll be.
forever yours
forever more.
just maybe not the same way
it was before...
but it will trust you, love you and be there beside you.
it's the best thing in life.
and it should never cost you a thing.

it shiuld be there because it wants to be.
and that's how love its meant to be.


Last night when the clock struck midnight,
and the new day began,
it tolled the second of the first day that my ex, Brad, was born.
it was 50 years ago today
and the celebration began
and then i suddenly felt like everything but celebrating...
50 years.
that means almost if not mpre than half is gone.
i'll be 50 in 4 years.
and i'm not ready tpo go anywhere...
what will happen to me when the strong ones who have held me high
are not around to carry me?
what will become of me when i have no one around me who remembers the days when everything was incredible,
when i was funny,
and smart...
no, and handsome!
what will happen when my world isn't the same
and i'm nothing but an old man
with nothing more to hold on to but my wheelchair.
i never want to know.
i fear that it's going to happen.
and i fear most of all,
that i will outlive them all...

i miss them already.