i was almost an abortion

Thursday, April 25, 2013


Last night when the clock struck midnight,
and the new day began,
it tolled the second of the first day that my ex, Brad, was born.
it was 50 years ago today
and the celebration began
and then i suddenly felt like everything but celebrating...
50 years.
that means almost if not mpre than half is gone.
i'll be 50 in 4 years.
and i'm not ready tpo go anywhere...
what will happen to me when the strong ones who have held me high
are not around to carry me?
what will become of me when i have no one around me who remembers the days when everything was incredible,
when i was funny,
and smart...
no, and handsome!
what will happen when my world isn't the same
and i'm nothing but an old man
with nothing more to hold on to but my wheelchair.
i never want to know.
i fear that it's going to happen.
and i fear most of all,
that i will outlive them all...

i miss them already.

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