i was almost an abortion

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Whitney on my mind

ya think ya know everything,
and ya think that your 
shit don't stink...
well it do.

click here;

Whitney on my mind...
it happens a lot lately.
actually, all the time.
cause it's time to stop this roller coaster
 i've been on for way too long. 
i wanna get off.
it started off being way too fun,
but it went higher than i thought it could
and was faster than i expected...
it made me scared so many times
but the fear i always rejected.
cause i know me,
and it aint easy being' me,
if it was, there'd be scientists trying to clone my ass...
but they aint.
thank God.
i relate to the late, great, Miss Houston
 in probably too many ways.
all the ups, then the downs,
applause and ovations
turned to booing crowds and rejections...
all the drugs, and the drugs...and the drugs.
it's been way to long.
i can't even remember when it wasn't.
when it started.
who i was with,
but i know with whom i wasn't...
they are the friends on whom i can always depend,
but i need to be straight
raise my head and relate
that i know i was wrong,
please forgive, 
and help me be strong.

because without you i'm nothing.
just a name in the wind,
but with you i am something
a force to be reckoned,
i hope on you i can depend...

 i'm sorry,
 and i'll always love you my friends.

click here:

and here:
and here...
and here.

i want you to love me...

click here;

did you ever wish... 
you could get back something
that you did in your past?
if it wasn't for me i know what we had
was definitely gonna last.
i admit 
that we say somethings we don't mean when we're mad
but i realize that i've been foolish
i never shoulda turned my back
cause it's a cold world when your out there all alone...

your boy is coming home.

and i want you to love me
and i want you to hold me
and i want you to touch me
come give me what i'm missing...
like i never left.

all i can think of is what i see when i look at the devastation that's happened to me, is the way i let things out of my control take over me and throw me down a hole. it was my choice, no one else. i made decisions that were bad, and somehow set them free. now i have to prove myself again, so that everyone can see...that once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a boy, not yet a man, who had nothing left in his soul. he closed his eyes, he hoped and prayed, that one day maybe, he'd find the way back to where he used to be...

no one could help him,
not anymore.
he had gone to far,
burned every bridge,
and slammed too many doors.
now it was all up to him.
he had to rise above,
and show the world
he was ready to come back again.

cause it's a cold world when your out there all alone...