i was almost an abortion

Tuesday, June 5, 2012


Old Homosexual Warning Video

paying homage-Mel Roberts

Mel Roberts: photographer from the 50's and 60's but
icon: forever.


a man who really inspires me, and for good reason...

WW2 photographer turned gay icon.
although he probably didn't know it...
a man who's work i've seen for years, a man who's work you probably have seen also, is one of the men who changed the way we view ourselves, our society, and men, in general. although, until today, i didn't really recognize his name, but when i realized who my friend was talking about, i immediatly recognized his images. his crisp and saturated colorization personifies the time period in which they were taken. he was one of the first photographers to experiment and use color film. his the simple portraits of men, looking handsome, sexy, erotic but still tasteful, made it possible for his work to stand the test of time. they are so great because they are so un-done. they aren't really posed, more natural and casual. they are more about the person and less about the fact that the person is looking sexy. does that make sense?
the fact that he took pictures of hot skinny all american guys being themselves, in semi-posed positions and smiling for the camera, lets you see another side of the model, a real side, one not put on for any camera, but one that shows the innocence and sweetness of exactly who they were. these boys didn't think they were going to become models/abercrombie & fitch models, they were being photographed just because, no agenda, no perception, no expectations, except to maybe give the photographer a good picture. i'll bet rarely did these guys ever even see the images they created. it was a different time.

a time and place that doesn't exsist anymore, but it's okay, we can get a feel for the way they were, thanks to the iconic images of Mel Roberts...

the other thing i found out about that really stuck in my head and made me see how his mind (and mine) work in similar ways, is the fact that like me, he smoked (i smoke) pot every day. i can't help to think there's something similar there, same kind of career, same kind of photos, same kind of lifestyle...i think i woulda liked him...



it's not right, but it's ok.

Thunderpuss 2000 Club Mix...

every day, i wake up, and think....
today's the day.
well, then tonight is here faster than you can say tomorrow...
and then it's next week, and then it's June...and you think...
what the fuck, where am i?
where did my youth go?
why am i still stuck in the same place?
how do i get outta here?
but the thing is, it's a vicious cycle, it spins and spins and spins,
endlessly and relentlessly,
until it's too late.
it's not right, but it's okay...
if you recognize it while it's happening, quite possibly,
you can change it from ever starting again.
if you nip it in the bud and instead of procrastinating,
do something productive and actually talk a stand,
make the call,
reach out,
get out of bed, shut off the television,
take a shower and focus, hone in on what you want,
how to get there, and take one step at a time, and trust me,
tomorrow will be a different day.

and today starts, now...


because my life
was almost not,
because i thought
about it a lot.
because i never
forgot the past,
because i always
said many thanks,
because i try
because i do
because i will
and someday, soon...
become what destiny
has in store for me,
because of that,
i know i'll be
the thing i've been
pushing away for years,
the man who i'm
supposed to be,
is what i know
deep down, you'll see.
i may not be perfect,
i may not be great
but what i am
you can't debate.
the show begins,
in seconds flat
so don't be late,
just sit back.
enjoy the show,
it will make you see
the things that you had thought of me,
were just illussions
of who i used to be.