i was almost an abortion

Saturday, April 6, 2013

fuking while on greindr

Get your story straight,
dear God, please,
don't think that i'm as dumb as i look,
you said that your night was free,
so i said "let's hang out" you said yes,
and then it got mixed up somehow,
when you actually met me...
if for some reason you weren't into it,
just say that girl,
your not as i thought you'd be either,
but i handled it correctly
and there it is...
you all of a sudden had made some plans,
with someone, somewhere,
i don't understand...
your "friends" sent you some kind of "reminder'
i guess that's the text you were replying to on Grindr.
i just would love if for one minute
we could start acting like grown ups
and not twits...
but we gays don't know how to be
nice to others, unless, you see,
it will somehow benefit us
and then, well, please...
we bend over backwards
we make a fuss,
but only when it is in the interest of whats good for us.
but i aint stupid!
i'm no fool...
i'll tell u one thing
then i'll let it rest,
is that cool?
i didn't expect
not for a sec
that you and i would ever be
together forever till the end of time
for all of eternity,
but i was funny, i was nice,
i was cordial, and even was pleasant enough to bite my tongue
when you all of a sudden had time for me to take some pics of you(for free),
while your "friends" were waiting.
after you left,
i began debating
what to do about this, so,
here i am ventilating...

chapter 8,497

when his eyes opened this time,
they weren't straining or trying to focus,
but instead they were clear and bright and
 when  they opened they saw the two things that mattered most and that he loved more than anything in the world... his babies. one laying in the crook of his knee, the other curled up in a ball at his side. nothing that he had done the day before seemed to matter anymore, because this was a new day, a new beginning to another chapter that began right now...


sometimes all it takes is one thing,
maybe just the one person who, happened to be there with you,
in one situation that maybe isn't reputable,
but you did it anyway...
one day, in the one week of the one year of the one life you will ever have.
and that one thing echoes differently than the other mumbo-jumbo you've been hearing in your ear the last few months..
maybe this new one is the one tat
one day makes you 
one hundred percent certain that you are 
one of the only people in the once upon a time place earth, 
once had on it
if even for one day...

he used to think that everyone around him felt that everything he did everyday of his life was nothing more than just an insane man filling time with whatever he needs to do to become what he, in his head,
can deal with and can make him feel okay to think that he is maybe is not the only one...
but the crumbling bridges that come from out of the tumbling mounds
of nothing other than simple common grounds that make no mention of what they did before they were even a millisecond of an instant before the second of the dawning
of the very first day they ever became...anything that was even worthy of a name, but before you knew it
it transgressed and transcended 
into another orbit
than from the one millions of light years even,
from where it originally came...
but in the words he actually with his own ears heard
he understood that it maybe could be misconstrued as something other than
what it knew was in fact nothing other than
the simple truth.

and so without further interruption
on the already written somewhere in the stars production that they called everyday life was undeniably all planned out in a strange illegible manuscript uncovered
one day in the future
by someone who is nothing close to anything that even resembles
the thing we now describe and point to and address as 
just an ordinary man.