i was almost an abortion

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

white noise

     All he could here was the white noise of static.
it started off as if in another room down the hall,
but was increasing to a furious pitch
that was like having a butcher knife 
slowly pushed through his temples into his brain.
he thought that if it didn't stop soon
he would surely lose his mind
at the very least, 
he would kill himself to end the agony.
the droning sound just kept on,
getting louder and louder with each nanosecond.

     And then..
it stopped.


     He collapsed onto the floor
wet from sweat that had soaked right through his clothes.
when he opened his eyes,
his heart still racing fiendishly,
he was shocked that nothing 
at all
seemed different.
nothing had changed.
the world around his was exactly as it always was.
people outside strolled the streets smiling.
birds sang,
sun shined.
he could hear kids playing outside, laughing.

     Maybe they didn't hear it?

     Maybe, he thought,
what was wrong


although it killed him 
to think that he was really thinking THAT thought of all thoughts,
at the same time, it also gave him a shred of hope,
a minute scrap of a chance that just maybe
he could actually have true love again.
he had been burned too many times,
had been through the trials and tribulations that always led to war,
experienced the two most opposite feelings for one person that you could ever possibly feel,
and picked up the millions of little pieces of his dignity and self respect.
and if you had told him yesterday he would ever have the chance to have it all and go through it again,
he would have told you you were crazy.
but there it was..