i was almost an abortion

Saturday, March 3, 2012

my way

just when i thought
that i'd said too much,
and i'd insulted and been mean
and bitched and complained,
when my mouth overtook me,
my brain started racing,
my voice became irate
as the words got nasty,
my tone was obnoxious,
and my gestures were grand...
but when i stopped,
just for a moment,
and thought,
joe, you've done it again...
you've gone too far,
and i waited, patiently for a response.

i waited and waited,
thinking to myself that i'd ruined a good thing,
destroyed any chance,
crushed any hope,
snuffed out any way possible
that i'd ever hear back
anything good,
any kind words,
anything positive...

and when i had just about given up,
lowered my head,
accept defeat
and chalked one more fuck-up to my stupidity,
kicked myself in the butt,
and thought i'd just about die,
the phone rang...

and it was the opposite.
by standing up for myself,
asserting my beliefs,
and taking my stand,
i made them realize
that i'm not one to be told what to do,
how to do it,
and my strength made them see,
that i know what i'm doing,
know who i am,
understand my worth,
and asserted my strength.
and they gave in.
gave me more than i wanted,
more than i dreamed,
more than i hoped for,
and it made me see,
that from now on,
it's my way
or nothing at all,
for my mind is a sharp tool
and it wicked and bright,
it towers above others
who think they have sight.
it's light years ahead
of what others can see,
it's leaps and bounds beyond ones
who question their dreams.
it's what i do best,
so just let it be,
trust me,
i'll do it,
and you'll believe when you see
that it's genious,
it's new,
it's different,
it's real,
because deep down i know
that i trust what i say,
respect myself,
and will do it
no other way.