i was almost an abortion

Saturday, June 16, 2012

take care.

i've loved and i've lost.

Drake ft. Rihanna - Take Care [HQ] -- (Jaime Xx)-- G-SYMPHONY REMIX

i'll take care of you.
it's all i can do.
i'll try anyway.
as hard as i can.
you deserve better.
you deserve more,
you deserve to be happy.
don't we all?
as hard as we try,
as much as we give,
as difficult as it is,
as much as we want it,
we sometimes just can't reach it,
and it becomes more than we can handle, or take.
it's right there,
look closely...
i promise you, it is.
it's just that the time isn't yet right,
the stars aren't aligned,
the moment has yet to come...
but it's there.

i promise you, it's there.

last time was just now

i think i just dried
the last tear i will allow
to fall.

oh, i know that there will be more to come.
they'll sneak up behind me and surprise me one day
out of the blue.
it's the moment when you realize that
something great
something amazing
is now, just a memory.
a moment in time.
a fond rememberance.
something that made you laugh, smile,
and, no matter how hard you try,
it won't ever happen again.
but it's okay.
because life goes on
time does not stand still,
but marches forward
flowers grow,
babies giggle,
and life goes on
like nothing's changed.

call me maybe not.

call me maybe?

The Hottest @Abercrombie & Fitch Guys, "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen

he keeps calling.
i don't ever answer
he keeps calling.
a moment of time i wish never happened
has now become something that
is becoming too twisted and insane
for even my taste.
don't you usually get a hint
when your calls are never answered.
never returned.
it just isn't gonna happen.
it makes me anxious to think of
exactly what i should/could/would do
if/when this situation comes to a boil
and confrontation
rears it's ugly head
all to real.

hey, i just met you,
and this is crazy...
but here's my number...
call me maybe?
well, i aint callin'

for many reasons...

for many reasons,
i must confess,
in my life,
i have been blessed.

people i have known and met,
simple moments i can't forget,
things that made me stop and gasp,
these are the things that can't surpass
every second
of every day
i'm learning now,
that i should just pray
and thank someone above
for all the people
that i love.
everyone of them
holds a different key
each one of them
opens up another side of me.
the building blocks of all i am
are bits and pieces
of all of them.
and when one single block is broken,
the walls shake hard,
leave me with feelings
that i leave unspoken.
for how do  you describe someone
who makes you understand yourself
with no agenda
no issues
nothing harsh
just he and you.
something clicked
something changed
and now my life has been changed.
i'll never be the man i was
because of what he rearranged
inside my head,
he made me see
i was better than
what i thought of me.

true story...
on the set of one of the films we shot, at the end of the day when we were waiting for everyone's cum shots,
erik, who had just been fucked numerous hours,
was trying, trying, trying to dump his load, but couldn't.
so, nonchalantly, laying on a table in the center of the room,
he turned his head and asked,
"can someone come over and shove a foot up my ass, something i can actually feel, to get me off"

Diana Ross & the Supremes - Reflections (Kayjay Remix) vs Lucylon

u took from me
and left me alone
with only memories.

The Supremes - Reflections (PNP Remix).

through the mirror of my mind,
time after time,
i see reflections of you and me.
cause although your gone,
i keep holding on
to the happy times,
when you were mine.

reflections of the way life used to be...
sometimes they get cloudy,
sometimes they get distorted,
mixed up
and then again,
sometimes they just get you through a moment.
a time when life was sweet,
the smiles and the laughs that were exchanged
in just a quater second of time,
with really no meaning,
no cause,
just because,
are the very same moments in time
that defy us.
they make up out history.
they, when compiled,
tell a story.

it's kind of amazing.
we forget,
take for granted so many things.
every second, something happens we think
i will never forget this...
and two seconds later,
we forgot what we were thinking about.
reflections of the way life used to be.