i was almost an abortion

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

everyone wants everything


Depeche Mode - Everything Counts 










everyone wants everything,
their way,

all the time,
immediately,
and wonder why they didn't have it 
yesterday.
they expect it 
and in fact,
demand it
to be exactly
everything they want,
and then some.
they don't ask if you need a hand,
they don't feel obliged to lift a finger,

they don't care if your not feeling 100%,
they don't offer compensation,
yet they will rip your head off
just because.

they love to get.
anything, everything.

they want to feel special.
they believe they deserve it
because they do.

they don't understand why you don't understand.

what i don't understand is why you don't understand that i want, need and expect it all too...but i want it the way i want it, so...what are you gonna do about it? how you gonna fix it, make it better, make it perfect, and deliver it on time to me by yesterday?
huh?
i'm waiting...

video










all that glitters-the E! True Hollywood Story






Nicki Minaj - Save Me





From the outside looking in,            
all that glittered appeared to be fascinating and intriguing,
something that one would naturally aspire to have,
yet with no clue at all how it was ever successfully achieved in the first place.
second glance showed natural flaws and minor ticks in character,
third opened up a little more insight, yet still fascinated and entertained,
but then by the fourth glance, the glitter started to fade
and the sparkle showed wear, even tear.
by the fifth time, what was originally mistaken for glamor was really not at all glamorous,
and in fact was starting to show signs of rust and decay,
and what the exterior gloss could no longer distract from,
now showed clear signs that something was missing...even wrong.
something that was once, not to long ago, there,
was probably pretty fabulous,
but had seen better days.
it was as if it had gotten lost somewhere along the way,
and was having a hard time finding it's way back.
sixth time it was becoming very clear that what was lost was lost it in a very dark place,
a place that showed no signs of light in the near future.
by the seventh time glancing, it was obvious that the glance had turned more into a stare
and the stare was made with eyes that had to now squint to hide the fear 
of what exactly was happening right in front of them.
the glossy Vogue cover that had at first been so swooned over
was now sadly nothing more than some black and white newsprint handout
that had been ripped, smudged and thrown away.
abandoned.
that was exactly the moment when i started to change the way i saw everything around me in the world,
and started to realize that what glitters isn't always gold.
sometimes it's tarnished,
sometimes even,
it's nothing more than junk jewelry.
but there had to be another way to look at it...
nothing that once shined so bright and caused such pleasure should be discarded so quickly without even trying to polish it up, 
even if for one last try.
maybe that junk jewelry, if cared for just a little bit more,
handled more delicately and with a lot more love and respect,
could still be something that gave joy to the world,
and make people smile.
one persons trash is always another man's treasure.
and this treasure,
i now see,
still has glimpses of a sparkle
that could maybe even blind everyone with it's magnificent 
flash and sparkle...
and it could, quite possibly, even restore my lost faith 
in everything i once i hoped was real.






dedicated to the pony 
that helped carry me away from a very dark place,
 just by caring enough to try.