i was almost an abortion

Sunday, May 20, 2012


today, when i've had nothing to say,
i feel myself, inside, astray.
guilty pleasure pours from me
while writing so poetically,
it makes me seem,
it makes me feel,
it keeps me tight,
i'm made of steel.
so today with nothing more to say,
i say adu,
good day.

Set Fire To The Rain


and at the end of the day,
when he'd thought his work done,
when his breath seemed soft,
and his mind tranquil,
his body faded
it was at peace.

so i set fire to the rain,
and it burst into flames.

i am that man

i am that man.
or i've become him, anyway,
the fact is i had no idea this would be happening, yesterday,
my views of self perception seem,
to make me see i'm not so lean...
although i eat everything that i can see
is that whats made this pig of me?
i never tried
i never thought
i never knew
i always fought
the perception that i'd see of me,
was one of poise and dignity,
but i see now, i was misunderstood,
thinking all the time that i looked good!
today i did it,
that awful thing,
i sucked my gut in
so that the kids couldn't see,
my fat belly protruding over
no belt, so jeans i was tripping over,
my gut was huge
i couldn't let
them see the pig i am,
and then they'd get
that smirk, that glow
they could say about me,
"he's that big fat guy 
sucking in so i can't see,
his big fat belly, protruding oh so glamerously!"
i stopped,
i stammered,
i rose, then fell,
i had gone, no detours,
all the way to hell.
and there i was
a big fat pig...
his gut his thighs, his chins, his big
fat tremendous amounts of skin,
then i stood back,
where the hell had i just been?
i looked down,
took a breath,
threw my head back,
and then guesses,
i'd put on more
 than i needed to,
so now it's time,
get back in check,
cause presentation,
is where it's at.

chris raucci sighting-BEWARE!

what goes around comes around.
and around,
and around.

i thought i was finally over, past, and moved on
from my wicked evil, distrustful ex, chris raucci...
until i got a text today,
from a friend,
(who he cheated on me with)
just another lie...
nothing to really hate my friend over,
he's just an idiot...
but he said he ran into the young mr. unreliable.
apparently, nothing in his life has changed.
he's still living the high life
on someone else' drugs,
cheating, lying, stealing, and, well, breathing.
that's the one i can't deal with
is the breathing part.
i know i'm over him,
so why do i still wanna ring his neck whenever i think of him?
 if i didn't still care,
would i still have even feelings of hideous torture being committed on his lifeless soul?
maybe i'll just be greatful he's outta my life.
thank god.

and so, i know, i am, my own man.
with or without that mess!

 ugh, i hate him.