Lying cuddled at his thighs was his baby, his best friend, the only one that had been there, seen it all, the good the bad and the ugly of the past four years. he reached down and rubbed his head, and when he did, the boy looked up, opened his big blue eyes and lightly, gently, sweetly licked his hand which sent shivers of joy through his whole body. when he went to adjust himself and put his right hand under his head so he could get just a tad closer to his baby boy, he felt the other one. the new one. the sweet girl who was his roommates dog, but she had kind of moved in with him and his boy. she was curled up by his head, and when he nudged her, she looked up, and made a soft happy sound and curled in just a little closer.
here he was, in bed, on a day he wasn't sure he could face alone, with the two babies he had adopted and kept safe and warm. he didn't need anything else.
Of course there were things he would like, things he maybe could use, but, the reality of it was, this was exactly where he wanted to be, right now, right there, with exactly who he wanted to be with, more than anything.
it was even before the day began, and already, it was better than any day he could remember in a long, long time...
maybe this was the start of something completely different
than he ever imagined...
maybe this was the sign he had been looking for so long, for...
maybe that last chapter of his life was finally over and he was now, stronger, for having survived it.
Nadia Ali - Rapture (Avicii New Generation Extended Mix)
true story:
i was booked to shoot a band that consisted of a guy and a girl who were very sweet, very nice, and from what i understood, pretty big in Europe...for all i knew, cause i never heard of em. i had already shot their first "album" but of course once i turned in the film, i never saw it, and quite honestly, didn't think anything of it...it was just another shoot. they walked into the studio, smiles, kissed me, said thanks, they love love loved the last shoot, and were so excited to see what we would do that day. after hair and make-up, i was all ready, lights in place, everything was great, i was shoving a bagel with cream cheese and salmon down my throat when they walked onto set, as the radio played in the background, and i started clicking. maybe an hour into the shoot, on the radio, comes this song i had been hearing, and loved. i didn't know what it was called, but knew the catch phrase..."mi amore don't u know...la la la la la" and as i swallowed yet another bagel, singing as i shot photos of the duo, i asked, "omg, i love this song...have u heard it?" to which i was greeted with silence, then laughter, then Nadia, the girl, comes over and hits me in the head and says "you don't know who this is?" "no..." i said, like the idiot that i am...
well, do i have to finish the story?
of course, it was them, and i was an idiot, but, it was such a compliment to them, as they realized that i truly loved the song without knowing that i had the two people responsible, her, with her voice, his magical writing, in front of me...
anyway, exactly 40 minutes ago, i crossed the line from middle aged into old. ugh.
it was uneventful.
it was nothing exciting.
i sat in front of the computer, as usual, doing Photoshop, and thinking about what i would like to do differently as an old man, than i did as a youngster.
here goes...
when i wake up, i will not let myself begin the same routine i have played into for 46 years. i will not because it's time to change. start a new, try things with another outlook.
i haven't figured out exactly what this would be but, i am thinking. when i figure it out, i will let you know...
it's just, i need a change.
i need to wake up and feel happy.,
i need to wake up and be excited...
and i need to be more aware that i am not changing the world, nor am i moving mountains, curing A.I.D.S., or cancer, but, i am making people smile, somewhere in the world, someone, is seeing something i've done, and they are smiling...or jerking off...either way, i have done something i am proud of...and so, maybe i'm not the greatest American Hero, maybe i'm not Bill Gates, or Obama, but hell, i am who i am, and, i guess...
