i was almost an abortion

Saturday, April 14, 2012


the problem with me

out of the blue,
without notice,
sans trumpets nor drums,
another trick,
basically laid out for me,
who exactly i was,
and why it was so contradictory
and unbeleivably insane of me
to imagine that
in the world around me,
in everyone else's eyes,
and the fierce, staunch misguided and misread image
i try to give off,
the fact of what i offer the world
is something completely
and fucking amazingly
not at all what i really am
in my heart,
flesh, bones,
and blood.

he said,
quite matter of factly
and without missing a beat, that,
i was the biggest bottom
who ever insisted they were actually a top.
he even recalled several times when,
i was the one getting pounded,
ass up,
hungry and screaming for attention to my asshole....
it seems i may have misread myself,
misjudged others intelligence around me
and misguided the bottoms i was fucking to think,
just for a minute that,
i was a top.

but i'd rather watch Beyonce videos,
listen to the new Rhianna,
or recite sayings from Steele Magnolias.

maybe that's the problem....


morning glory in nyc

something funny happened today,
on the way home from a tricks,
on a side street in manhattan,
outside of the motel he was staying at,
walking by the garbage trucks picking up trash,
is when it happened...
without warning.
it just became like a jike
the moment that it started,
i was walking,
ass full of jizz,
piss, and spit...
my cell phone rang
and when i went through my pockets to pick it up,
i fell.
sprained my ankle,
and fell, head first,
into the garbage truck.
at first i wobbled,
head first.
nothing could stop me,
i hurled through the air,
wig went that way,
fake nails the other,
my what i thought was butch clutch fell into the street,
and made chaos and insanity a manditory moment of craziness for that time.
and then,
without wasting a moment i,
without missing a beat,
without trying or fretting,
i picked myself up
brushed myself off,
and kept on walkin...

keep on movin' don't stop no....