i was almost an abortion

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Do You Know Where You're Going To

Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To) - Diana Ross

there's a strange smell in the air when things change.
everything starts to look different,
take on more defined shapes,
colors become more vivid,
textures come into focus from fuzzy to slick,
scents emerge and fill the air with fragrant scents,
flowers bloom,
grass grows,
glaciers melt,
children grow,
life continues,
and everything takes it's righteous place.
remember, a butterfly is not always a beautiful creature.
it starts as a hairy worm,
only to cocoon itself and transform into a thing of pure beauty.

many years have passed as i've sat in my cocoon.
alone, ready to break out, yet,
unable to, as the timing just wasn't perfect.
but as the days tick by,
the evolution of my destiny becomes a necessity,
and time is of the essence.
the months i have spent relearning life,
reconfiguring who and what i can be,
how i can develop and recreate my image
so that the ugly caterpillar inside me
can blossom into the butterfly,
and soar the clear blue skies.

i feel the cocoon around me break cell by cell,
i hear the crunch,
i feel myself expand, stretch, develop.
i feel the wings beneath my back
start to grow and crack the shell.
my arms reach out, grasping at the air around them.
my legs push hard,
hoping to touch ground and take off running.
beams of the outside light appear
causing chaos, confusion, and clarity, all at once.
as i brace myself to expose what's been hidden inside for too long,
my mind rewinds and revisits where it's been...
remembers where it came from,
and recalls the hard times it's had.
because no matter how beautiful a butterfly becomes,
no matter how high it fly's,
it was still, once,
an ugly caterpillar with a hope of a better day.

but, do we ever really know
where we're going to?
if you like the things that life is showing you,
then you are lucky...
if you don't,
if you know everything should/could and would be different
if you just pushed a little harder,
than kick, scream, push.


Electro House Mix 2012 (Whitney Houston Tribute Mix) (Special)

as hard as i try to imagine that it's not really real,
and as much as i hope, pray and try to change what has turned out to be the truth,
it still just remains the same,
without any way to debate it as a solid fact.
i still cry,
i still anticipate the next thing i'll see,
wonder what it will look like,
what the sound will be,
how she has grown
and what will be the favorite part,
which, i'll never really know
until i've heard it 3 million times.
what do you do now?
she aint coming back...
it's a simple, true fact.
something legendary is gone from the human race,
and even though it's been a few months and
we should have gotten over it all by now,
every now and then,
i'll hear something in the distance,
and i get so emotional.
aint it shocking what ove can do?
she was the one i always thought would turn around
and show everyone that true talent cannot be denied.
it can't be explained, reasoned with, or copied.
why am i still mourning my loss?
i guess it's because it came so out of the blue,
so fast,
and with so little explination.
theres a zillion people in this world,
so many of them without hope or potential...
why was her card picked before theirs,
they would never have been missed.
true talent, i have discovered,
sometimes doesn't get the credit it deserves.
maybe that's because it's so genius,
so out of this world,
that it really is, too good for us.
it's hard to kill a cockroach.
the ugly ones last till the bitter end.
the beautiful ones fly, high, but not forever.
they are gifts that we should be thankful for, everyday.
for when theyre gone,
theyre gone forever.
and all we have left,
is a memory
a sweet, bitter memory
of what it used to be.