i was almost an abortion

Monday, January 16, 2012


such a strange thing for me,
never had it
but now i do
but why you ask,
i just simply do.
for no good reason,
i swear it's not
it's about something a freinds got,
that i want.
a thing i wish i had, instead,
of me just laying here, in bed.
tossing, turning, here alone
it makes me think of what went wrong,
and how the thing i think i want
is just what i should not.
but life is funny,
sometimes haha
this time it's serious, and so, nah...
i'll do my best to conquer this
and in the end,
secure the risk
that this jealousy,
this thing i want
will surely be,
the thing that is the end of me.

so i stop.

I'm Coming Home

if you had one shot,
one opportunity,
how would you play it?
i think this is my 9th shot actually.
for some reason,
it's like they say,
cockroaches don't die.
me, cher and cockroaches.
oh well,
as long as i forgive my own mistakes,
no more games,
i'm coming home.

someone like me.

and here i fuckin AM!

I have a dream

i have a dream...
and i hope it's not the one i'm living.
today at precisely 12:27pm,
i was at the gym, stretching,
when i looked up into the mirror and realized,
I am the crazy old man at the gym.
the one you see who's a mess,
ugh, thats me.
a troll.
i have a dream,
and it's that i will one day be back to the old me,
the fierce me.
the crazy old man is retiring, an that little black child i used to be,
will be back.

it will come

i just learned a lesson,
and hopefully,
will be able to apply it toward everyday life.
if you want something 
and you really search for it and do whatever you can to make it happen,
it will come.