i was almost an abortion

Saturday, May 25, 2013

as i see it...

I've found that... 
living in the middle of a Thursday night sitcom based on afro-americans in the 70's during the time of change and uplift, actually, uplifting.
as i walk the streets of hills and valleys, side streets lined with yellow or dark burgundy duplex's with arched brick columns  that guide you up to peaked copper roofs, acid green in patina, porches and stairs that bring you up toward the thick wood doors that were the entrance to the grand hallway where another set of steps lifts you even higher. the spirit lifts the heart of all this depression by the grandness that must have once been. tumbling downward, yet being restored impeccably by master craftsmen with precision. at first glance, i saw depressed. now i see a broad horizon that is endless. it's from the outside looking in, and what's inside is amazing, but what's right here is maybe even more amazing. so, i am thankful for being thrust in a place i never imagined, for reasons i never would have found if i wasn't abandoned here. me n Buddy. ugh, that poor baby boy has seen it all. and always been the solid rock that kissed me at night and again in the morning. always in love, never anything but love, which is all i ever wanted in the first place.
it makes me see how fortunate i have been, and am, and can be, and will be, once i get myself into a groove. i guess i have to prove my love to you. 
right Madge?

i am starting to discover that it's more than just the execution of the idea, it's the very idea itself that matters, what grows, and generates by expressing what i was here for in the first place. why i survived the wire hanger is something i guess is still in discussion. maybe it's all about survival of the fittest. or the rise and fall and rise of a man with a mission, but as pf yet, mission unknown. navigating through muddy waters and rivers that run upstream. impossible, but, if it happens the way i hope it does is again, don't call it a comeback, nah, i been here for years. thru all the drama and the pain, and all the tears. it's time to stop this roller coaster, i wanna get off, and start moving mountains and swimming seas and find another world...

just cause i can.

what i really wanted to say,
but to be nice, i kept my mouth shut,
is that i...
i guess i can't say anything really.
because somehow, every time i open my mouth
it gets misconstrued or misunderstood by somebody who
then feels it's their duty to tell me 
what a bad person i am.
well, um...hello?
open your eyes bitches,
cause you've been misinformed
or misguided...
mistook and misused your mentally retarded 
and minute brain cavity
and somehow you went so far out of bounds with whatever crap you've been fed,
you felt it your DUTY, to call me on it.
well, lemme tell ya somethin'
i told you that i wasn't wrong.
i told you the whole truth.
i didn't even exaggerate, cuz i didn't have to.
i am usually always right.
and i say something when i aint.
but this time i was right.
and i got nothing to say sorry for.
you on the other hand...
need to step up to the plate,
bow that ugly head of yours, just a little lower,
find that place in you you so long ago forgot,
and say, not in a whisper, but for the whole world to hear,
"I'm sorry Joe. YOU were right."

then i'm gonna slap u 
upside the head twice.
                 just cause i can.

now i ask ya...
don't ya feel FOOLISH?!?

cause ya should.