i was almost an abortion

Thursday, February 28, 2013

MILES AWAY

Madonna - Miles Away (new 2009 promo-video) Trendsetter aka Mark Holiday...
 

too much of no sound
uncomfortable silence can be so loud...
and i am hearing crickets
that echo, in the uncomfortable silent way
only they can make. a high pitched screeching noise that could also be mistaken for a symphony orchestra playing the dramatic piece that could accompany the last scene in a horror film where the main character is being chased into a long dark alley way that ends up being a dead end...years ago they loved me, and when i'm miles away, they say they still do, it's only when i'm up close and personal, that they don't remember my name, who i am, or, was, what i did, how it was, and, i hate to say it, but, up until a few days ago, thought it could again be...
                                           


it used to be the sound of the phone ringing unstoppably at all hours with people demanding my time, needing a minute or two, hoping for a second of time for my opinion that i never second guessed. now i am on guess number 14, let alone 2 or 3, and have no answers in any close sight...where did i go wrong? what was the final straw? why didn't i see it coming, and why isn't anyone giving me a second chance (again, on 14, forget about second or third ones). but it sounds like an accident that happened one minute ago...when everyone around turns, but after they've screamed, and then there is just silence because the devastation is so great...the smoke, still rising from the flames takes everyone's breath away, and there is the anticipation that when they get up close, the answers to what happened will be catastrophic, and then...after the silence, louder screams, and then sobbing for the loss of everything that is gone, what it could have maybe one day been, and what will never ever again, have the chance to be...

as the orchestra begins to play the final piece, the credits start to roll, and then the moment i've been waiting for for almost four years now...
"THE END" appears and then, fades away as the curtains close and the lights come on, and we can all go home, back to where everything is comfortable, warm, cozy, and great.




   ...shot off my phone in Bryant Park this afternoon, before my long journey, which became a nightmare, began...