i was almost an abortion

Saturday, June 1, 2013

postcards from the edge (of a cesspool)


Dear Mom,
Gee, i have to tell you, as usual, 
you were right!
the people in Jersey are SUPER nice!
Everyone has a big fat, um, smile...
and is always very helpful 
whenever i need a hand,
or something...and they are very happy to help me when i'm in need of assistance.
not a day's gone by 
that i haven't needed assistance!
well, anyway, i better run,
i have a few guys from the beach cumming 
and want to make sure i am a good host!
wish you were here, 
but i know it would be hard
being you're in traction...
but anyway,
love ya lots!
xo
Joey!


if only;











and then!


i guess ...
it wasn't until around 10:00 when it hit me...
"ok, yea, i get it now..." 
went racing thru my head.
so i quickly picked up my COACH tote bag ($1275.) without saying a word, wrapped my HERMES scarf ($750.) around my head, at the very same time i threw my D&G sunglasses ($425.) on my face while at the same time
my iPhone had already dialed my car service.
"i need a pick-up, NOW!" i whispered loudly.
10 minutes would be way to long, so i swiftly breezed through the hallway and on my way toward the door, managed to swipe my 
TSE CASHMERE sweater ($1845.) and
MARC by MARC JACOBS  trench ($2790.)
and barely made it out the door by the time a yellow cab turned the corner, splashing through a puddle and dousing me with water and ruining my brand new vintage CHRISTIAN DIOR alligator pumps($3795.)....
           it was a disaster!


STARRING PORN STAR TO BE:
Kurt VonRyder








YA NEVER KNOW WHO'S WHO AND WHAT'S WHAT IN THE GAME OF LIFE.
SOMETIMES THE ONES WHO LOOK LIKE BUMS ARE BILLIONAIRES,
AND THE ONES WHO LOOK LIKE THEY BATHE IN CRYSTAL ARE THE ONES WHO DON'T GOT A POT TO PISS IN...
JUST SAYIN'...
YA NEVER KNOW...
SO,
 BE NICE TO EVERYONE!

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE REMINDER.....