i was almost an abortion

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

My Way

Frank Sinatra - My Way (Beat Syndrome Remix)

at the end of the day,
when you look back and be happy for everything you accomplished,
or, pissed that you did nothing all day,
one thing you should always be content with is the fact that
whatever it is you did,
you did it and you did it your way.
if i had a shoot, then,
it was done with me giving 4,399,000% of myself, maybe more...
if i sat n picked my nose or surfed the computer or jacked off all day,
than, goddammit, i put everything i had into making sure that the load was shot,
the web was scrubbed n i found what i was looking for, or the snot that seemed oh so far up my nostril that it actually felt like it was in my brain when i finally got it out,
BUT, i got it out,
and in the end,
that's whats important.


a Madonna Gang Bang

Gang Bang Official Music Video


i've known her since what? 1982?

i know everything she's done, i've seen her in concert 6 times, i live for her. even when she was "madge" i thought she was just being retarded just cause she's human, right?
but maybe i don't really know her at all...i mean, she's a multi-level woman who always keeps you guessing...she always comes for you in ways you don't ever expect. she's always fierce, always cunty, always insanely pulled together...she hits trends that are way down deep in the underground and makes them internationally known...neon, lingerie as fashion, those rubber braelets, i mean, it's endless...where would we be without madonna?
i have to say, and i hate to say it...we'd be stuck still in the stone age, because absolutely no one comes close, and it's gonna be a long time before someone will even try to compare...
she's a legend.
she is, Madonna.



classic j/o

                       it's alarming sometimes when i stop and think of the hours i spend indecisively wondering, questioning, seeking and plotting the next move i will make for the next ten, maybe twelve years of my life...
i just can't sit still, as i toss and i turn, never knowing, always guessing never stopping only starting as i seek and i try,
 still, no answers in sight...
i'm stuck in a place with no escapes. no trap doors, no fire escapes.
 no exit, from nowhere, no angle, nothing but feelings of entrapment and uncertainty. what do i do next? what do i do now?
   who will be there to watch over me just in case, or...protect me when i fall?
it's never an easy answer. i can't sleep, so i play on the computer, Photoshop is my game of choice, and it makes perfectly good sense to me that if i play long n hard enough, 
maybe, one day, i'll win...