i was almost an abortion

Wednesday, February 27, 2013


classic j/o

                       it's alarming sometimes when i stop and think of the hours i spend indecisively wondering, questioning, seeking and plotting the next move i will make for the next ten, maybe twelve years of my life...
i just can't sit still, as i toss and i turn, never knowing, always guessing never stopping only starting as i seek and i try,
 still, no answers in sight...
i'm stuck in a place with no escapes. no trap doors, no fire escapes.
 no exit, from nowhere, no angle, nothing but feelings of entrapment and uncertainty. what do i do next? what do i do now?
   who will be there to watch over me just in case, or...protect me when i fall?
it's never an easy answer. i can't sleep, so i play on the computer, Photoshop is my game of choice, and it makes perfectly good sense to me that if i play long n hard enough, 
maybe, one day, i'll win...

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