i was almost an abortion

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

HA HA funny

it's funny,
maybe not HA HA funny,
but funny, like...
"dude, that is SOOO NOT FUNNY!"
and when the second version of funny hits you
and you understand that there is no punchline awaiting
that takes the tension off the situation,
and makes everyone in the audience, at first feel a whew, sigh of relief,
and then second makes them break out in a rash of hysterics
thathopefully make you forget exactly what it was that you were so uneasy about
in the first place.

in life the things you learn that make you laugh after you sweat
and then make you breath after you don't
are the things that, generally,
are the most important lessons.
they make you go through an ups and downs scenario so that you have an enormous rush
of internal jitters and stomach cramps that then create sweat beads to form in your brow
that dampen your hair so that it sticks to your forhead and neck,
drip down to your sweater and make the wool fabric get a ripe, almost farmyard-like stench
which makes you sniff and maybe even cough,
a cough that goes down to your depths
of the thing you call a soul
which you thought you didn't even have any longer,
because you were sure it had been sold to the devil years ago...
they aren't the funny things like others that you recall word by word
from a t.v. show or movie,
they are instead similar to that,
except different in that
they make your mind lose control
and make your mouth spew pure venom.
you can try hard as you like
but theres no end in sight
to the relaxed place and time
that you once had far far away in your mind
but theres no turning back,
you can't, and that's that.

i learned a lesson today.
about the friends i thought i could trust
the ones i did a favor for,
the ones i bent over backwards to help
and it shocked me, just for a minute,
when i saw i'd been used
completely abused
and it was not in my grasp
to know what to do
in the situation i now knew
was my own selfish way
of not trying harder to improve.
Quentin Harris, d.j. un-extraordinaire, needed new pictures done
and i didn't hesitate not a one
to ask me to shoot them all not once but twice
and i spent so much of my time
that i almost went blind.
and now here we are almost four months since i've heard
not even a peep
from Quentin about paying me back,
not a peep.

tomorrow i go to court and find out
if eviction is possible
to throw Buddy and me out,
and Quentin knows all of this, yet,
not a word...
funny huh?

like i said, not really a HA HA kinda funny....