i was almost an abortion

Thursday, June 7, 2012

man in the mirror

yes, he's gorgeous, but does that make him perfect?

why does our past,
our own insecurities of the fat/skinny/lonely/sad kid we once were,
years ago...
keep us down, probably forever,
so that all of our worst fears become reality.
we compare ourselves to others,
never thinking for a moment that the ones we think are untouchable
are just as, if not more insecure than we are.
it's a vicious cycle,
we torment ourselves trying to be as good as,
someone who, when we get to know them, we realize,
don't deserve the honors we bestow upon them.
from afar they look golden,
they look like they have everything in the world we lack,
they represent everything we hold so precious,
they are handsome, strong, sexy, and so, obviously, too good for us.
the pedistal we put them up on,
is quite possibly undeserved,
for what we really are, deep down inside,
is what in reality,
is true.
however perfect they seem,
however handsome they are,
however rich, famous, fabulous or perfect they may be on the outside,
they, undoubtedly, have flaws that they themselves
cringe over.
they themselves hope no one will discover,
they themselves
try and hide.

everyone i approach to photograph always says the same thing...
"give me a month in the gym"
dude, if i didnt think u were hot, i wouldn't have asked you in the first place...
and in reality, none of the guys i shoot,
are as hot as they appear in the photos.
theres lighting, retouching, Photoshop, every trick in the book
that makes them appear perfect,
and in turn makes them look,
better than reality could ever let them be.
they start off as handsome, but after 4 hours of me fixing every last flaw,
they appear Godlike, which, i understand, is my fault.
i know that what i do,
makes everyone feel,
that they should be better,
but that's just how i work, thats just my style, it's just fantasy.

so why do we feel, second best,
or even third.
why do we let our past rule us?
it's absurd.
why don't we try, one day at a time,
to look past our self loathing,
any to ourselves, be kind.
we have only a short time,
we live only once,
it's our life, and our moment,
don't let it go astray.
live and enjoy it,
till the very last day.
you are as good,
if not better
than that tacky old queen
standing there in her sweater...
she may have coins,
she may be hot
but what you have, in your heart,
she probably hasn't got.
so stop, look, and listen
and maybe you'll see,
in reality, your better than,
everyone you think your less than.
don't hate yourself,
love yourself.
and one day, you'll see,
that the words i have spoken,
are true, indeed.

everyone of these guys,
has had my steady hand fix them
some a lot, some a little, some more than others,
but the fact is, they're not real...
it's glossed over,

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