"a girl can dream, can't she?"

Whitney Houston Vs Calvin Harris - I Wanna Dance With Somebody 2012 

it was an innocent enough question really, and asked for no other reason than to make small talk..."are you dating anyone?" that's when he started laughing, not a chuckle, but a gut wrenching laugh that came from his deepest darkest places inside that rarely show. "dating?" again, the laugh. to date, there must be someone TO date, someone who WANTED to date you back...that didn't seem like it was in the cards for him, and so, the laugh faded into silence.

there was once a time when he thought he'd love to stand side by side with one person for the rest of his life...long, long time ago...but he had had 3 long-ish relationships that all ended badly, found out from all of them that HE was a nightmare to be with, endured heartbreak, heartache and heartburn to discover that what was left of his heart was nothing more than used up charcoal briquettes that were now basically nothing more than dust.

maybe, he thought, one day, i'll meet someone who is blind or deaf, definitely dumb, who won't see the disaster he himself obviously was...as he had been told so many times, and if his dream came true, this person would also be in their late 90's, a multi-millionaire with no family and the PERFECT man would of course be on life support, and if God really loved him, they would exchange their vows, draw up the will, leaving him everything, and then, right after they kissed, a blackout would wipe out all power for hundreds of miles, AND if he was really lucky, there would be no generator around for miles...

could he ever hope for such a man?

would/could this man ever love him (enough to sign over the lease)?

was he asking to much?

     "a girl can dream, can't she?"