i was almost an abortion

Thursday, May 16, 2013

words of the hopelessly hopeless

we always want what we probably should never have...we seek out the things that are out of reach, and even though we know we can't ever have them, the thought of settling for something similar seems vulgar, but the idea of struggling and trying, doing without so that maybe one day...seems noble. reach for the stars, just don't reach into another galaxy. 

i'm trying to find a better place to relax, unfold and find my space. it's been so long since my mind's been fine...i want to sleep deep, laugh loud, be quiet, unwind...i seek the comfort that only time will allow. and rushing into this is not the way to work it out. i thought that my life was a perfect balance but then learned that i was wrong, it was insane n i lived careless. is there hope for the hopelessly hopeless? can they let it all go out of their heads, let it all evaporate into space and understand that they are not so bad, they need help, they are loved, and that maybe should start listening to their own words because, in fact, they are speaking to themselves, but are too deaf to hear their own voice when it speaks, or trust the mind and what it is trying to say...it's not speaking in tongues or Spanglish, Ebonics even, but it's speaking to me directly, and is loosing patience with me.

click here:
as many times as i hit replay, it still makes me cry. as soon as the orchestra starts, my eyes well...i know she's talking to me, but why can't it get through to my brain that is going insane, got nothing to do except bitch, moan and spew evilness into the world...can it be? am i the true devil? am i Satan? can it be?
i was here for a reason.
maybe i'm the one who they await for, or is that just me being over dramatic??
no...that's not me...

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