what were you thinking?

come closer,

 i can't hear you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aC5xPQ2f4

Sometimes when I speak to Buddy in our daily jibber-jabber language we have developed through the years, i'll say something that he recognizes ad his ears will perk up and he'll cock his head to the right, just a bit, which means he knows something is up, and he's wondering what...when he is confused about something, he lowers his head and with his hind paw will scratch behind his ear, i think, meaning, he can't quite figure it out...and is anxious. whenever i say "who's coming to see Buddy today?" he will no doubt look up and at me with a question in his eyes. he knows the words, and when i put them together like that, he knows that we are expecting a guest, so, he runs to the window and sits and waits...never fails.

 i always know what's in his head, i always know when he's wondering, questioning, hungry, needs hugs or scratches, because in his eyes, he relates and expresses himself so clearly to me. 

i wish everyone was so easy to read.

Today, in the rehab section of the hospital my father is at, i returned with my mother after my fathers lunch, and when we arrived, he was there in bed, asleep, arms crossed and on his back. soundly he lay, until my mother took her cane and smacked him with it, yelling "JOE!" and he pretended like he wasn't ever asleep at all. he tried to say something, but his mind, which is still quite sharp, was quicker than his mouth, and the words he searched for couldn't be found quick enough...so a sound of frustrated thought was

 heard echoing through the halls of the ward. for a quick second i jumped up to try and help him, but my heart broke when i realized i couldn't, and so i just closed my eyes.

As much as i need to, i know i shouldn't just close my eyes, but i don't know what else i can do, although i do realize, that it's now or it's never and there is no reprise. i need to be strong. i need to be smart. i need to be wise, and not think with my heart. this is it. not much time. i don't have forever, this is right now...so be clever, don't fuck up...

not this time.

not this time.

not this time.

not this time.

notthis time.

notthis time.

not this time. 

I need to be on top of my game. this isn't a joke, it's important. stay on track. don't look back. look ahead. be focused. be true. 

be honest. and smile. 

love your life.

     

all photos from illustrator Fran Kramer's personal collection.

i'm clicking 3 times!

they say home is where the heart is,
home...click three times and you can go back.
but the harsh reality is,
you can go back,
it's just never the same as it once was.
when you leave home for college, there's the holidays and summer break to look forward to. comfortable dwellings await when you return. then in your 20's your bedroom becomes a den, then 30's it's a bedroom for your nieces and nephews, and by the 40's it is being taken up by another family from Uruguay who barely speaks English and is trying to have their children get a better chance at life than they ever had...much like your parents did when they moved to that same space 50 years earlier.
you can go back,
it's just when you do, you drive by the home you once loved, and honk, and as a tear wells up inside your broken heart, you understand that life goes on.
things change.
time goes by.
but it's always gonna be home to me...
just not mine.

superior men

----------

 anyone who has half a brain in his head can tell you that anyone in their right mind and a quarter smarts left in their balls to know when they've been introduced to the presence of someone much more superior

someone much more eloquent and intelligent,

masculine and brawny, someone who makes you wish

you could ever even be aquater of what they are.

it'll never happen boy...

you lose this game.

there's no more innings.

bases were loaded n u struck out.

sucks to be a loser...

sucks even more to know that there's someone twice the man you will ever be, n he's standing right there.

he'll make you wish you were good enough to even stand in his pressence.

nope.

not this time.

not with this guy.

not now...

not ever,

he'll always be better, stronger, faster

and to top it all off,

he's probably hung like a horse...

60 flies so quickly

to fully enjoy this experience, click here;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zqpDVyCB2Y

in a day filled with 24 hours when each hour is filled by 60 minutes that are made up of 60 seconds, it seems like it should be enough time to get everything one man needs to do in that time period to do just that. yet, why is it that those seconds fly by so fast making the minutes tick tock and count up to their goal of 60 so quickly that then the hours mash into each other at rates unheard of and by the time the clock reaches the 23rd hour of any particular day, it's still only 1/4 of the way done with what it started when the sun rose in the east just 23 hours previously?

could it be?

will there ever be enough time in a day or should the man who battles each morning just resign himself a loser before he even gets out of bed, and so, relaxes and knows his battle has already been lost?

one day he will win....

the very day he sees his last hours drift by with the minutes seemingly endless and the seconds moving slower than the day is long.

The dreamer will always lose his battle.