the time has come...

it's time to get to work.

seven days have already been deleted from 2012, and i will not waste one more of them.

procrastination has always been a friend of mine, but this year, i'm saying goodbye and starting tomorrow, shutting the door on it. the time is now, the moment is here, the clock is ticking...

there's something i need to do. something i've been putting off for a long time...

see, i had this idea a few years back, and i can't get it out of my head, still.

here's the thing, i have done many things in my life that some would consider, hmmm....questionable? some good, some bad, lots more bad, and a little more good thrown in, from fashion editor/stylist for L'Uomo Vogue to photographer of erotic men, was an escort for almost 20 years, did a few porns, and was a drug addict to where i am now. i have seen maybe too much, but loved every second of my twisting ride, worked with the very best from every industry, and learned a lot more from them all. so where do i go now? this can't be the end...as my mind races and my creativity spins out of control in an A.D.D. pace. i have become something odd in this world, because i can do so many things, but can't seem to focus long enough to start or finish any one of them...

so i've had this idea (see how off track i can get).

in the world we live in, there are few things that have as much love/hate attached to it than porn. people are shocked when you do it, yet love it, and watch it over and over...but what i see, i don't get. it rarely excites me, and for the most part, bores me. when i watch porn with friends or tricks, they always end up yelling at me because all i do is complain about the styling of the clothes or the lighting. i watch it, and all i see is my friends having sex, which makes it not very "hot" for me. i want to see something else. in my head, i can envision it, and it's something quite unconventional, as it's not really porn...it's more extreme than sexual encounters, and it turns you on in the same moment it freaks you out.

it's slick and glossy in the style of Italian Vogue, yet it has the sense of humor and realness of BUTT magazine. it's at both ends of the spectrum from home made to professional high def. but it keeps you looking, guessing, and hopefully hard.

my images have that sense, i think...and so, i am hoping they will translate into film.

so, look out, beware, it's coming...don't hate me if it takes a little longer than you'd think, remember i'm A.D.D. and my attention gets diverted easily...but what i have in my head i can't keep inside any longer...so there. i've said it aloud...i'm going to change porn!

teach them well...

this post goes out to all my 40-something friends out there

who think they know it all about these kids today,

and feel like they are too good or too wise to be hangin' with the children...

well, let me tell ya something...

there was a time, not too long ago

(before Whitney (or me...) were crackheads)

when you were a wide eyed cutie who made mistakes and fucked up sometimes.

remember that?

there was a day when you couldn't afford Prada, so you wore Gap,

there was a day when you went out every night,

did drugs or drank too much,

made a fool of yourself,

and/or were just a stupid kid.

we were all there,

we were ALL there.

i was lucky enough to have met a guy named Charlie. now, Charlie was about 45, total daddy... but he was also an ex-priest who, if the good Lord knew what he was up to would be turning over on his cross... but Charlie saved my life. he was the only one who i could tell anything to, he'd tell me if i was being stupid, push my limits when needed and transformed me from a boy to a man. he was amazing sex, but he understood that sex was where it ended, because at 20 something, i was in no place to be settled down. i just needed guidance.

one year, Gay Pride weekend, my doorbell rang, and it was Charlie. i buzzed him up, and in he walks with a buddy of his, a drop dead daddy, probably 50, salt n pepper hair and a rock hard body... and from what i saw immediately in his jeans, a cock that hung to his knees...

Charlie's only words to me were "happy Gay Pride boy!" and he and his buddy stripped down, and had me drop and drain them, passing me around like the hungry little fuck i was. he told me how to service his buddy, made me eat his ass, and watched his bud fuck me... now, seriously...WHAT MORE would a boy want? he treated me with respect, taught me the ropes, and guided me to be a man. taught me jealousy has no place in this kind of relationship, helped me find a boyfriend that mattered, and helped me weed out the losers. and for these reasons, he and i are still great friends. we fuck when we see each other, and he will still call me once in a while if a buddy of his he thinks i'd like is in town.

what's so bad about that?

it's a win win situation. and, you get the chance to help these boys learn right from wrong, cause remember, it's tough out there... especially now. so, just a suggestion, when you see one of these boys you think is nothing more than a stupid go-go boy, approach him. if he's too stupid to think you're too old, than it's his problem, and he probably i nothing more than a stupid go-go boy... but if he responds, give him a reach out, talk to him, it doesn't have to be sex, could just be a new buddy who helps you meet his hot friends... either way, give em a chance. the boys i shoot have become special to me. i love watching them grow up, go to their first circut party, become men, become club celebrities...and just become men.

give back boys...

remember,

you were once that stupid kid.

give them a sense of pride,

to make it easier...

let the children's laughter

remind us how we used to be...

lazy days journey into night

and so,

after a long day of doing nothing,

not accomplishing anything important,

not speaking to friends,

and just being lazy,

the day has dwindled down to me just being extremely tired.

for what reason i cannot even imagine,

except to wonder if maybe

a day of nothing is exactly what i needed.

holidays over

(thank GOD!)

work starting to pick up,

and life getting back to normal,

sometimes you forget how important it is

to just relax, kick back, and be a slob.

which is exactly what i was, all day.

talk talk

they said "it's too glossy",
then they whined "it's too flat"
then they said "it's been done before"
and "i hate the model"
or "it's too retouched"
or maybe "i liked it better before"
or "he's so tired!"
really girl?
on your best day you'll never even have what i posses in my pinkey finger.
so shut the fuck up,
and go babble on about something else.
people love to talk,
complain,
bitch.
it makes them feel better because they know, deep down,
they aint nada...
nooch!
niente!
people who try and bring you down for no reason at all are lame cunts
with nothing else to do,
no place to go,
nothing to achieve,
because there's nothing there to begin with.

so let them talk.
let them bitch,
let them say what they want,
because the truth is there for everyone to see.
the truth does not need to speak loudly,
because even when wispered, it's heard.

it may have been done before,
but not with the twist you put on it.
let em laugh
let em talk
let em gag
let em balk,
it matters not in the real world,
the truth is known...
trust me.

writings on the wall

today ticked by and i got nothing done.
tick tock.
i tried to do stuff,
but my mind was elsewhere,
and i couldn't concentrate.
i was living today in a fantasy land
where my life is tweaked by illusions
of what and how i would fantasize it to be.
twisted and crazy,
it would be a world where everyone was happy,
everyone was naked,
and fucking...
i joined some new swingers website a buddy told me about.
not that i would go near a pussy within 50 feet,
but the guys on there are interesting enough to jerk off with on skype,
and being that they are all swingers,
the chances they are exhibitionists is high.

funny thing is,
mostly everyone on the site is a man...
does that mean that women swingers are more shy
or that only gay men go on these sites
pretending to be straight swingers?
either way...

so, here's what i did today,
i created a wallpaper for you to download and use on your computer...
see what boredom does.
just click it, save it, and use it.
it can also be printed and used as book covers or wrapping paper.
don't say i never did anything for you.
lol
xo
joe

fucked up but true...

it's kinda fucked up...
i have been laying out my next book,
perfectly titled J/O, my initials,
and what i hope you'll do with the book in hand,
and as i scroll through images,
i am getting nervous because,
all of my favorite shots,
the ones that are the most extreme and insane
were all taken when i was high...
the other shots are good, i love them,
but they are missing the edge i had when i was
chain smoking crystal meth...
fuck!

i'm going back and forth now,
i mean, would i have ever been able to take the edgy insane shots
i took before, had i not been a crack head?
or would i probably have a very successful career, shooting for Macy's?
it's a strange realization,
and one i never dreamed i'd ever be asking myself.
i always considered what i do, just that,
what i do.
i never understod the complexity the drugs had one me...
BUT...
i do have to say it, truthfully...
i'm glad i was a crackhead...
bcause it opened my mind, eys and soul to somethings i never would have seen...
am i a lunatic?
possibly...
but the proof is in the work,
and the T-inspired images are pretty fuckin sick,
and beautiful...
it's scary.

My Way

i did what i did,

and that's all that i did...

it didn't mean a thing,

so stop making it such a big deal...

it was nothing anyway,

was for fun, just for play,

now you're getting obsessed

and it's making me depressed!

it was nothing,

not a big deal,

didn't harm me at all,

it was a way to spend a few hours

besides hitting the mall...

so shut up

stop it, listen,

this has gone far enough,

just let's move on and

move forward,

from this silly stuff.

i did it,

it's over,

i'll do it again,

so be quiet

it's my thing,

couldn't you just be my friend?

hole lotta nothing...

got laid today,
and it was fuckin amazing.
theres nothing i love more than a hairy hungry hole bent over, open, ready for my tongue and cock.
hmmm,
fuck his ass was great.
i came twice.
big loads.
fuck, ok, thats all.
lol
here's kinda what and where i was today.
enjoy

before G.I. Joe

one day, my dear friend, model agent extraordinaire Jason Kanner calls me to tell me he has this new kid, a street wise punk who can dance, move, and is gorgeous.
the kid showed up, amazing. loved him...
great attitude, energy, face, body, was perfect. i shot him about seven more times from the time he was 18 till about 22, he was one of my boys, and is one hell of a guy, still.
he moved to LA a few years ago, became G.I. Joe, and a few other lead charachters, and i'm sure we haven;'t seen the last of him.
Channing Tatum, he is truly a great man, here's the last shoot i did wuith him, the cover of the final issue of SPOON magazine.



i have this main shot framed 4feet by 4 feet in my living room, and it always gets a comment...

Rio

it was early January, 10 years ago, when i got a phone call from Genre magazine to shoot a vacation issue in Tampa. TAMPA?

what queen in their right mind goes on vacation to TAMPA!

luckily, my dear friend michael nash was vacationing (rather getting fucked through) Rio,

so we devised a plan to make sure i got there, fast!
Genre was excited, i was thrilled, and michael was psyched.

he lined up the models,

i got the clothes,

and one week later was on the flight down.

10 hours later, i woke up on the plane, 20 minutes left...

when i got off the plane, michael picked me up, and without hessitation

dropped me off with $40. to a bath house, and told me he'd pick me up in 5 hours.

5 hours later, a stretched mouth and, whatever later,

he picked me up and we started shooting the next morning.

we had incredible models, the location couldn't be more amazing, and the weather was unreal.

we shot for 3 days, and then i stayed for 7 more, since it was my birthday and i was celebrating my 35th that week.

2 romances later,

i returned to nyc, in pain, achy, numb, and dillusional.

ghonnoria, food and sun poisioning and crabs later, plus a shot in the ass for syphalis,

i walked out of my doctors and to bed for 4 days.

AH, Rio.

i love it!