fucked up but true...

it's kinda fucked up...
i have been laying out my next book,
perfectly titled J/O, my initials,
and what i hope you'll do with the book in hand,
and as i scroll through images,
i am getting nervous because,
all of my favorite shots,
the ones that are the most extreme and insane
were all taken when i was high...
the other shots are good, i love them,
but they are missing the edge i had when i was
chain smoking crystal meth...
fuck!

i'm going back and forth now,
i mean, would i have ever been able to take the edgy insane shots
i took before, had i not been a crack head?
or would i probably have a very successful career, shooting for Macy's?
it's a strange realization,
and one i never dreamed i'd ever be asking myself.
i always considered what i do, just that,
what i do.
i never understod the complexity the drugs had one me...
BUT...
i do have to say it, truthfully...
i'm glad i was a crackhead...
bcause it opened my mind, eys and soul to somethings i never would have seen...
am i a lunatic?
possibly...
but the proof is in the work,
and the T-inspired images are pretty fuckin sick,
and beautiful...
it's scary.