paid in full

not so very long ago,
and not so far away,
i stood before it, shamelessly,
those days had gone away.
the way i used to feel so bad
about such little things
depended upon my having had
a choice in the charade.
no longer would i feel the need
to be better than i was
from now on i'd simply play the game
risking winning against the loss.
it's really no one else' fault
except for mine,
if i won or lost.
i'd live with that,
i'd take the chance,
i'd pay the price my actions cost.