i was almost an abortion

Friday, January 4, 2013

Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time ( Josh Harris remix)

Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time ( Josh Harris remix)

it hadn't been even 24 hours since he said the things he said that he thought were profound.
well, profound enough to put a dent into the huge mess he himself had swore he was never going to be in again. how could he be right back at square one in so little time?
time after time he climbed up, then fell back down. what was left for him now seemed like his only last choice...there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. he had backed himself into a corner, and felt he had nothing left deep inside.
his intentions were always for the best, but his intentions were also not supported by his emotions, which were fragile, or his situation, which was getting worse. usually somewhere along the way, he had had someone else there to push and encourage him...but at this moment he was alone.

he hated to be alone. it was too scary, too easy to fall off track.
but was it, he thought, possible to keep anyone on his side when he wasn't even sure he would be there if he didn't have to be. he would probably have given up on himself too, if he could. it was impossible to ask anyone for anymore. selfish to reach out a hand when he was the one who always pulled away when they reached back...why should anyone be anywhere in his radius when he continued to disappoint them again and again. he had proved them right many times, now it was only up to him to take back the reigns and ride that white horse into the sunset, for the stampede he rode in on had taken another path home, a straight and narrow trail, while his was forever uphill, winding and steep that had no guard rails, only luck that kept him on his path this far.

but his luck was wearing out...
less than 24 hours ago he had hope. now, he wasn't really sure what he had anymore. but, he guessed, it was time he found out.

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