"Hi, my name is Joe, and I'm a fucking retard."

Eminem
- My Name Is

"Hi, my name is Joe,

       and I'm a fucking retard."

     (crowd reply's) "HI JOE!"

i'll be 46 years old tomorrow, and i am alive because my grandmother caught my biological mother on the way to the hospital and told her to just forget it, i was to be born, no matter what...i was "HER" grandchild for Christ's sake...and i was meant to be.

i grew up a spoiled rotten boy, placed on a pedestal and told i was "special" since day 1. i was a "miracle", and so, that's the only way i ever saw myself. Until i went to school. see, i didn't have any friends growing up...i'm Italian, we don't have friends, we have cousins, family members, to keep us company, and that way, there is no chance of bad influences getting to us by the "white" people, or even worse, the "colords". but at school,. where other people who had spent their first 5 or 6 years in very different ways than i could ever imagine, they looked at me like i was an alien, even worse, a fat alien, because i was considered "husky" because of the fact that my mother made me home made bread everyday, and i was given my own loaf with a stick of butter, and i ate it all while sitting comfortably in front of the t.v. watching cartoons.

a lot happened in between the ages of 5 and 12, like, i lost 30 pounds in 2 months, which, if anyone really thought about it, was because i also grew almost 8 inches, so, has anyone heard of "puberty"? no, my mother thought for sure i was going to die, so i went to the doctor every day to do blood work, see how i was, was i sore? did i hurt? nope, i was just all of a sudden shooting hot stuff from my penis at night, having crazy dreams, and was so ashamed, i could never tell anyone...let alone the doctor, who, was a close family friend, meaning, cousin, and he didn't even check or ask, or think that maybe i was growing up. nope, i was dying. of course!

and people wonder why i'm so dramatic.

to be continued, someday.