really?

it's exhausting.

every time i hear it's happened again,

i just feel my entire body collapse from inside. 

why him?

how?

damn.

really?

it never gets easier,

it's not really shocking anymore, but it should be.

you can never figure out who will be next,

how it will happen

or why.

but from what i see,

i can only guess.

you live your life day to day

trying to do your best

just to get by...

then add on top of that the stress that is caused

by an economy that's crumbled,

fighting for every little scrap of kindness to be thrown your way,

having to do things you don't really want to do, just because you have to...

it isn't the glamorous life people think,

in fact, it's more than you bargain for

when you basically sell your soul

hoping against all odds

that maybe you can make it just one more day.

then you wake up,

slap on a smile,

and start over again.

only to realize that today is no different from the last.

but you gotta keep going.

you have to move on.

it's one life,

one chance,

one time...

don't give up.

                                       dedicated to Arpad Miklos

i never got the chance to photograph him, but we had met a bunch of times, and one thing i can say is he was always smiling. i never heard a bad thing come from his mouth, never a negative ounce of energy from him, just a laugh, a smile, a warm handshake, and a face that will never be equalled. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/05/arpad-miklos-gay-porn-star-dead_n_2624369.html