i was almost an abortion

Saturday, October 27, 2012

MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL

Once upon a time,
in quaint Victorian village
one early fall evening in October,
as a gust of wind swept fallen leaves
tinted yellow, red and orange,
up into the air, swirling swirling swirling,
a prince walked home from his long days battle,
lost, confused, and tired...
he wanted nothing more than to rest his weary head,
but alas,
that would not be his fate today...


45 years on earth,
most of them as a wise ass,
many of them as a hooker,
drug addict, and, many many other things that were lived on the edge...
never once have i been hit..
never once mugged,
attacked,
violated.
and just when i was feeling safe.
out of no where, 
a guy walked toward me, gave me a slight snarled lip,
and then when our paths crossed,
bam!
right in my mouth with what must have been a brick
because my front tooth wiggled loose, and blood poured from my mouth,
and i fell into the street where luckily,
a family in an SUV who had seen it all,
pulled over and drove me home...
i went to the e.r. where i was given 3 stitches, and sent home.
long day,
long night,
long time coming....










 

Friday, October 26, 2012

classic j/o

Havana Brown ft Pitbull - We Run The Night (BabyBearBell vs RedOne Exten...




                      CLASSIC J/O
SOMETIMES THEY HAPPEN
WITHOUT KNOWING, ALL OF A SUDDEN, THERE IT IS...
PERFECTION.
SIMPLE,
BUT NOT...
ELEGANT,
EXPRESSIONS ARE EXACT,
CLOTHES LOOK GREAT,
MOTIONS, EMOTIONS, COMMOTIONS, ALL PERFECT.
CLASSIC.
9and i take that very seriously)
 
 
 









 
 


Thursday, October 25, 2012

(Goodbye to Joey O)

Grease - Sandra Dee Reprise (Goodbye to Sandra Dee)



every second of every minute of every day, 
something happens, unexpectedly, that makes a powerful impact on the rest of your entire life...IF, and only if, you are smart enough to listen...i don't even know how old i was, but it was not more than 11, and GREASE was the number one movie for about 17 weeks, which, is amazing...i was dying to see it, but my parents thought it was too risque, as it held a PG rating. i begged, pleaded, but to no avail. i was a fat italian boy with kinky hair and acne, and wanted to be something else, someone else so bad, and movies were my escape. my mother told me that if i lost 10 pounds, she would let me see the film, so, i put myself on a diet, and every morning i did push ups, sit ups and ran in place, in my bedroom, listening to Macho Man by the Village People, and in about 2 months time, i had lost actually 12 pounds, and so, had achieved my goal. i also had done something internally that had made me a stronger person, for i had recreated my destiny and brought it into the realm of what i dreamed would be a better place for me. i showed and proved to myself that this was indeed, possible. the next day i went with my father to the movies to see Grease. i of course, LOVED it, GAGGED over it and then, almost at the end of the film, saw Olivia Newton John sing the reprise of "Sandra Dee", the pivotal moment in the film where Sandy decides to change herself, step up to the plate and make herself someone she always wanted to be...which of course she does, flawlessly, in spandex.
she, this song, this scene, made me believe, enforced what i had already begun to know, and still makes me cry.
"sandy, you must start a new, don't you know what you must do? hold your head high, take a deep breath and sigh, goodbye to sandra dee..."
anyone can do it, everyone should try it, trust me. 
be the person you always wanted to be...
                                       you owe it to yourself.










 
  

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

- Ready Or Not -

The Fugees - Ready Or Not







ready or not,
here i come.
you cant hide...
gonna find u-
-n make u want me.

bless u if u represent the crew
but ill hex u with some witches brew if u do, too.


don't get better than that.
ever...

Summerboy

Lady GaGa - Summerboy


BBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ




"Hey there summer boy,
lets go for a drive
take me for a ride
never gonna close our eyes...
hey there summer boy
i'm a busy girl...
don't have to much time,
hurry up before i change my mind..."
                                   la gaga



summer is now, officially, over.
everywhere i'm looking now,
instead of seeing tube topped Maritza's on da stoop drinkin Pink Champale wit her peeps,
i see Maritza all bundled up,
maybe as extreme as a top that doesn't
cover her belly button ring...
all the boyz in da hood r still chillin' outside the bodega,
but the bodega is now serving them harder liquor than the Colt 45's it was in August...
where did it all go?
where are the warm days, tropical breezes, hot nights?
another summer scratched off the calendar.
the morning skies clear as the not so scorching anymore sun appears.
there's a chill in the air, a crispness.
the leaves on the maple trees in the housing project
across the street
 have gone from deep green to magenta,
the same color as Maritza's bleached n color treated extenssions.
the summer is gone.
summer lovin'
had me a blast,
but that was summer of 2012, and, well,
it's passed.
 
move on forward gracefully,
autumn 2012 has exploded.
fashion week cum n gone,
all the hype glamor craziness and hell raised by the drop of a leaf
is under way...
the bears have come out to play,
and so,
from hibernate to congegate
after they all masturbate, they contimplate...
 the world as it slowly navigates
spins and rotates,
what will be their destiny,
their fate?
 
 
Uberbear Robert Valinshas an idea, many ideas, maybe too many sometimes...but his new  bear website is up to try n help the contemporary urban/international man who isn't ashamed, but rather proud of his belly...
what the f*%# to do.
now you'll know...at the click of a button.
it's that easy...
cumming very soon..
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
just don't get ur fingers stuck in that tight little bees nest...
but if you do...
lick ur fingers real good.
 
 


   
 
 
 
 
 



(playlist)

                                               COLTON FORD-Party at Iris's (playlist)



it never fails...
something inside tells me to hear/see/sm,ell/taste/experience something, and usually it happens in minutes or days.
like, just now.
12:51am, tuesday?..monday?
anyway, i pull up an old playlist from i-tunes, my eyes half crossed from overdoing it on photoshop, and chain smoking and eating as much ice cream as humanly possible, and like, this song, one of my all time fav classic house songs follow me by sidney youngblood comes on, and like, i need to hear it now, and need to pass it on, so, i youtube it, and, the first one that pops up is my sista coltina fordina's remake, and so, i knew it was meant to be.








Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I CAN'T GO ANY FURTHER THAN THIS...




The Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway

i cant go any further than this...i want it so bad, it's my  
  only  wish. 


         
it's only in the really simple things we experience by chance that we get to see clearly just what all of this means. you can't really try in life, things just have to happen...that's one thing i learned years ago, but sometimes i have to keep reminding myself that.

woke up at 6:54, the house was quiet, everyone asleep, and my perfect time of day...all alone, no one to hear/see/talk to me, just me. i worked for a bit, had waffles and coffee, and then went upstairs to where Buddy comfortably sleeps, on his own couch in the middle of the living room, under gilded fifteen foot ceilings, in front of a 1890's fireplace that has a beautifully handcrafted steel door in the shape of a grand arch.   it makes me happy to see him sleep, happier to be there when he wakes...
   
it's getting kinda heavy, the feelings i have just don't stop.
i want it, i need it, i know it, i do, but how do i do the things i know i need to do when i can't stop myself from falling into the same old routine which is just my way of saying i have a bad bad bad case of a.d.d. and can't keep my mind on one thing for more that 2.6 minutes?it's my never ending story, it happens all the time, it's how i've lived my life, but i'm tired now...i need a change of pace. i need to get my shit together and do something...keith told me something the other night that really kinda freaked me out. apparently...people(who have met me and know me well)all think i'm certifiably crazy, they think i'm kinda, well, i'll just say it...unpredictable, outrageous, and will be a mess for the rest of my zillion years alive...really??? that's how people see me? i, well, i'm shocked. seriously. how the fuck do u make people change their minds about u if that's the true feeling in their gut?
you don't...i guess...




maybe it's the crazy shit that just pops outta my mouth.
the shit i don't even see coming that just flows like a babbling brook outta my lips, creating people to think thrice about...like, is he for real???
Buddy has been trained off-leash since he was a baby...it's just easier for me, cause he pulls, and half the time i'm on the phone or talking to someone or carrying my camera bag or something that interferes with my being able to control him...but off leash, he's heaven. walks right by my side, never would go more than 10 steps without looking back, and he is just happy sniffing the flowers and other places other dogs have pissed...the people in my new "hood" aka, ghetto community, are, well, i hate to say it, but it's now just a proven fact that i can go and swear to in court....black people are afraid of big dogs...and they freak when they see him walk down the street off leash with his tale wagging, smiling and walking toward them to say hi...and they scream, run and cross the street so...just to calm them down it somehow just falls outta my mouth that Buddy is in fact, a trained dog that works with children in cancer wards at hospitals...
and they believe me.



FROM THE UPCOMING, HOPEFULLY VERY SOON, AT LEAST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!??? BOOK...http://www.amazon.com/J-O-Joe-Oppedisano/dp/3867874298


"J/O," of course, is short for "jacking off." Nevertheless, when photographer Joe Oppedisano gives his new photo book this title, you shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that the pictures are just jack-o material. Oppedisano's photos of young hunks and beefy men are too cleverly staged for that. Still, it's pretty obvious that these men sweat sex from every pore - and so it's only fair if you use this book as an inspiration for certain moments. Just tell the artist you have our approval.-AMAZON.COM


 http://bearsfuckboys.com/-WERQ! 

DISTANT DREAMER







DUFFY - DISTANT DREAMER