DEREK PARKER fights back!

chapter 3,475

the final conclusion:

While no one was looking

he decided that the time was right

to make his move.

he had to be swift,

he had to be strong,

and he had to fight back.

it would be the fight of his life,

it would destroy him inside and out,

but it was now or never,

and never wasn't an option.

he had to wear his courage on his sleeve

and hold the weight of the world in his heart.

this was the time,

he was certain.

as he raised his head up towards the sun rays 

that were beaming through evaporating clouds,

a flock of ducks was seen flying southbound overhead,

there was a clean fresh breeze that wafted to his nostrils 

and in an instant his entire mood and attitude changed.

his body shook it's goose bumps through every pore

and his hair stood on end.

he raised his chin just a bit higher,

with just a bit more confidence gleaming in his eyes,

and a smile cracked just a bit in the corners of his mouth,

the world was a better place...

and they lived happily ever after...

THE END

as the late great Erik Rhodes once said, 

you aint really a porn star until Joe Oppedisano shoots you. well, i guess a new pornstar has arrived,

 and just in time...

iml kicks in,

God forbid...

poor Chicago...

Derek Parker,

take it away.

DON'T HATE ME CAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL

Everybody!
quiet!
listen to me!
what's going on!!
QUIET!!!

it behooves me to even imagine in this day and age that what's going on is actually going on.
4real?
it's 2013.
and it's still going on.
no, not men over 40 wearing Abercrombie...
VIOLENCE!
wtf?
we have fought our way to the place we're at for so many years,
but it aint ever enuf is it.
we are always gonna have haters hate,
but mow it's time to retaliate.
enuf is enuf.
no more.
stand up,
be proud,
and kick fuckin ass.
str8's who hate need to get one thing straight...
we faggits's gonna retaliate!
so...
don't hate me cause i'm gay
(or beautiful)
hate me cause i'm more man 
than you'll ever be,
and more woman than you'll EVER fuck!
but that's me.

GET USED TO IT!

Whitney on my mind

ya think ya know everything,

and ya think that your 

shit don't stink...

well it do.

click here;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuhU7zUJD_8

Whitney on my mind...

it happens a lot lately.

actually, all the time.

cause it's time to stop this roller coaster

 i've been on for way too long. 

i wanna get off.

it started off being way too fun,

but it went higher than i thought it could

and was faster than i expected...

it made me scared so many times

but the fear i always rejected.

cause i know me,

and it aint easy being' me,

if it was, there'd be scientists trying to clone my ass...

but they aint.

thank God.

i relate to the late, great, Miss Houston

 in probably too many ways.

all the ups, then the downs,

applause and ovations

turned to booing crowds and rejections...

all the drugs, and the drugs...and the drugs.

it's been way to long.

i can't even remember when it wasn't.

when it started.

who i was with,

but i know with whom i wasn't...

they are the friends on whom i can always depend,

but i need to be straight

raise my head and relate

that i know i was wrong,

please forgive, 

and help me be strong.

because without you i'm nothing.

just a name in the wind,

but with you i am something

a force to be reckoned,

i hope on you i can depend...

 i'm sorry,

 and i'll always love you my friends.

click here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQGt6VNm_iQ

and here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_4PlM85NJo

and here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3-hY-hlhBg

and here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuV68kgqY8s

i want you to love me...

click here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NzVCQ-vhmA

did you ever wish... 

you could get back something
that you did in your past?
if it wasn't for me i know what we had
was definitely gonna last.

i admit 

that we say somethings we don't mean when we're mad

but i realize that i've been foolish

i never shoulda turned my back

cause it's a cold world when your out there all alone...

your boy is coming home.

and i want you to love me

and i want you to hold me

and i want you to touch me

come give me what i'm missing...

like i never left.

all i can think of is what i see when i look at the devastation that's happened to me, is the way i let things out of my control take over me and throw me down a hole. it was my choice, no one else. i made decisions that were bad, and somehow set them free. now i have to prove myself again, so that everyone can see...that once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a boy, not yet a man, who had nothing left in his soul. he closed his eyes, he hoped and prayed, that one day maybe, he'd find the way back to where he used to be...

no one could help him,

not anymore.

he had gone to far,

burned every bridge,

and slammed too many doors.

now it was all up to him.

he had to rise above,

and show the world

he was ready to come back again.

cause it's a cold world when your out there all alone... 

alone, plus none.

if everything you ever want

is everything that you see,

then doesn't that explain the fact

that you're living an absurd dream?

if everything has been multiplied

then divided into 1 

drop the 2 and add a 10,

wait, you're not done.

subtract all of the little things

multiply it's entirety

cross the t's and dot the i's

then the square root minus 1

the sum of all the facts will be

a millimeter of what you've become.

all that you have left is then

besides nothing, and subtract again,

yet still something that the rest of us 

could live off forever,

no fuss no muss.

yet still you go through life

without shame

while everyone else takes on the blame.

you bitch, you moan,

you stomp, you groan

from atop your gilded thrown.

you scream you bitch,

you're such a wretch

nothing or no one left to own.

if you had put any thought

in the things or people you have bought

a zillion dollars would be chump change

for the rest of us with no exchange.

if everything you ever thought

was even close to what it's become,

then my friend, i have to say

you've lost it all

and everyone.

and you are left

alone, plus none.

reason number 3,472 ...

Then there's the guy... 
that has too much to drink,
gets loud, very loud...
obnoxious even, screaming, yelling, causing havoc,
destroying things, making vulgar comments to any and everyone...
then, he passes out for 2 hours,
having to be carried home,
where he then,
vomits all over everyone dragging his sorry ass back to bed...
it's gross.
it's disgusting.
it's hideous...
but it's not half as horrific as when
they guy is YOU.

that was me last night.
pretty huh?

this is the very reason i always said,
"i'm a much better drug addict than an alcoholic."
see...i'm always right.

ya never know...

Time goes by so slowly 

when your waiting for something, 
anything really...

anticipation is the most underestimated emotion there is.

it's almost under the radar.
no one talks about their anticipating anything, except weather.

"they are anticipating storms..."

 is all you ever hear.

but everyone forgets that anticipating something is one of the most amazing things that can happen to you, ever, because, you never ever know what the outcome will be.
you hope to God that it's going to be great, BUT, don't be disappointed when it's the opposite.

as much as we hope and pray, dream and wish for the outcome to be Prince Charming,

usually, it's the troll under the bridge who needs a quarter for a bus back home.

just sayin'...

                           ya never know...