i was almost an abortion

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


my philosophy on life has always been very simple...
we were all put on this earth for a reason.
we each play a role in the story that will once be known as "earth, where we went wrong"
that will have every single millisecond recorded and how every little air molecule responded to every petal on every plant, which was just shit on by a mosquito that was eaten by a bird that was hunted down by a cat that was ravaged by a dog that was trampled over by a garbage collector barreling down a street, who's wife's brothers ex-wife's husband is now married to some schmuck who was divorced twice, has 4 kids, one of whom went to school in europe for a semester and was on his way back from class when he decided to take another route home and so, went through an open field of wildflowers that  seemed beautiful, but, halfway through, his sneezes got out of control, he hyperventilated, and passed out, never again to waken, because he happened to be allergic to the dust molecule that had been floating through the universe for billions of years collecting disease and pollen from everywhere, and when this particular molecule entered his system, it was the straw that broke the camels back, and so, he died while sneezing back out that molecule into the world again to contaminate and hopefully destroy others. next stop, beijing!
everything depends on everything to make it happen the way it should happen.
but my philosophy is killing me today, because, as i know, all this hideous crap that is occurring ALL AT ONCE in my life is for some grand scheme somewhere to come into fruition, but goddamn it, it's driving me insane.
my phone, for some reason, is not charging.
it's plugged in, but not charging. at all.
i have bought 12 chargers in the last 4 months because i usually lose them, but none of them work.
so i can't get or make calls, texts, see or access any of the photos i've taken from it, nor can i use it to get laid off grindr, scruff, whatever.
it's the way of the world.
and right now, the world sucks.

today, truly, i wish that bitch who gave birth to me 46 1/2 years ago shoved a goddamned wire coat hanger in her cunt and yanked me out, shit, even if she waited till the middle of the 9th month, it woulda been better than the day i'm having now.


in dedication of the bloody 8 1/2 month embryonic thing that shoulda been tossed in the trash all those years ago, i am using red as i type, and it pours so venomously and deliciously from my fingers....almost as if it's flowing from the dead fetus who accidentally, and unfortunately, lived.

so, now that i have all of that off my chest, and since my phone's fucked and i am so fuckin' annoyed in general, i'm gonna go enjoy my day with Buddy...who never answers back, and is always happy, for real happy, not like that fucked up family up above!)
bye now!

j/o has left the building...

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