i was almost an abortion

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

what becomes a legend most.

yea, ur hot alright...












yea girl,
your body's pumped,
you got a job....
kinda.
you just had your hair did,
mani-pedi...
it's all good,
and i aint gonna put ya down or nothin,
it's just,
well...
it's been done before,
only...
so much better!
the hair was did, but it was did differently.
the mani-pedi, well, it is a new era, and a queen should get her hoofs done,
but the thing that, really, more than anything
your missing...
is style.

see, back before you were born,
back when people didn't get fed fashion and media blitzes 24/7
back then, there were people who,
from out of nowhere,
fell to earth to change it.
they were by some,
considered outcasts, misfits,
but by some, they were glorious...
fallen angels who embodied an era,
a time,
a look,
a moment.
and somehow,
after all these years...
the moment lasts,
continues, even grows.
the legends we somehow forget
are the things that queens like me won't let you forget.
they are the things
the people,
the moments
the icons
who we forever will recall as great.

joe dallesandro
heard of him?
well, if not, it's a long weekend,
and it's supposed to rain all day tomorrow,
so fire island and p-town are gonna be BORING,
and no one's gonna see ur new bikini anyway,
so,
maybe it's time to teach yourself something
that just may make you sound intelligent in a conversation
that ISN'T being had on Manhunt.
ok, i'm being shady,
but, it's only cause you're stupid...

http://www.joedallesandro.com/

http://www.nndb.com/people/089/000065891/

http://www.warholstars.org/warhol/warhol1/warhol1f/heat.html



andy warhol saw it,
and he saw it all before anyone else even knew it was something...
greatness.
natural beauty,
perfection and embodiment of what porn could have been...
what it strives for,
but never gets right.


this is our time now men,
we must look back at what is truly great,
and learn...













almost over

Gusgus - Over (Official Video)

july 3rd, 2012.
the month is already 3 days in,
in a few hours, it'll be the celebrated day of independance.
that means only 28 days left...
28.
28 was a great age,
i recall...
it was when my life was simple, without care, or confussion.
i was a fashion editor,
i was just about to start working with ricki martin,
i worked as an editor for l'uomo vogue,
vogue,
vanity fair...
ah, yea. it was nice.

i remember when i was 28 i wished for nothing more than to be older and wiser.
now, older,
not much wiser,
i see that everything has changed.
nothing is the same.
the friends i saw daily, lived with, and couldn't get enough of,
are all far away.
close in heart, but far in distance.
my family is one by one becoming extinct,
my days as a fashion editor are gone...
but my new career,
well, my latest remake,
is almost over too.
i'm bored.
i need change.
my life isn't what it used to be...
it once made me laugh at how unbelieveably lucky i was.
now,
i can't believe how rediculously stupid i was....
never saved a peny,
never bought anything substantial,
never met the love of my life, yet...
but, i think, truly,
things are about to change.
god cannot punish me forever for my mistakes...
can he?
is it possible that one day i'll wake up and realize that 78 years have gone by,
18 careers,
3,000 lovers,
and still, nothing to call my own?

is it possible? probable?
it's not justifiable...
it's notsuitable,
it's not doable.
change is coming,
faster than i can imagine.
things fall into place, little by little,
but when you step back and realize that many pieces have formed an outline,
then start filling in the missing pieces,
you see that,
maybe it happened when you didn't even realize it was happening...
maybe your life is just starting to take shape,
reform,
rechrge,
regenerate,
reinvent
and revamp itself
into something that
28 days later,
you'll gasp at the way things have fallen into place...
28 years later,
you won't even recognize the person you are today...




and maybe....
just maybe...
that's a very good thing.






mancunt sucks

so u start out being nice,
pleasant,
cordial...
u email back n forth,
exchange "into's"
maybe IM, but that's asking a lot sometimes...
you decide maybe u should meet,
hang out,
fuck?
whatever.
and after you send that email asking if he actuallly wants to meet,
you wait.

and wait.

and wait...
wtf dude?
what happened to the pig i was chatting with back n forth for 30 minutes...
is it too much to ask to get a response?

then they get back...
"sorry,, i was in the bathroom"

ok.

so u exchange more emails,
IM's,
texts,
and then...


nada.

manhunt fuckin BLOWS












UGH

as far as he was concerned,
if the statistics were really, real,
then,
it must be plausable to say that
if i'm driving down the street at 2 in the morning,
and horny,
that, one in ten people
driving by...
MUST also be horny,
and gay,
so...
what's the problem...
pull the fuck over n let me blow u!
ugh,
annoying.
what's the deal..
why is it so impossible to find a truck driver
with a 10 inch cock that needs service at 2am...
i mean, really.
what's the point of doing the research to find out how many homos exist,
if in actuality,
all 1/10th of them are home in bed.
it's a little known fact that
gay men who sit at home and don't release the 10% gay sperm that is in them, daily,
while their brothers on tghe front line are
cruising, manhunting, caming, whatever-ing...
that it makes us a scommunity weak,
so support your gay brothers and go out and let any one of them suck u off...

just sayin'
it would be nice...

that's my public announcement of the day.
ugh
night







Sunday, July 1, 2012

the life of a dog.


One rainy cold day in the heart of new york city,
the wind blew,
drops as huge as ice cubes rained down,
giving your very soul an eerie tingle...
he clenched his trenchcoat, protecting himself from the downpour,
briskly walking past confused laughing tourists on their way to Marc Jacobs or Magnolia while
holding newspapers and plastic bags over their heads.

chaos is the west village on such a day.
he had lived there for years,
lovers came and went,
all with the nodding pleasure of his nosey genius neighbor...
let's just call her, Amy.
he had been rushing all day,
four pots of espresso later,
Brad yelling at him for being late,
John and Alessandro's book signing,
life in the gay fast lane in the early part of the decade
was quite stressful...
he managed himself into a tightly tailored John Bartlett chocolate brown velvet trousers,
a plain white cotton Comme des Garcons button down classic,
Marc Jacobs trench, and Paul Smith bucks,
a vintage pair of Alian Mikli's sat a top his head,
half on...
and it was raining, so anyway...
they rushed out onto Christopher Street,
black teenage drag queens and trannies pushing by,
they walked, half ran to their perspective bank machines.
he, being the superstitious guinea that he was,
always went to the same ATM,
the last one on the right,
right by the door, because,
it had a 1/2 mirror, and so,
before leaving the block and heading out into the cold bitter world
aka, outside the west village,
he had one last look-see on his attire,
and could rest assured he was giving off the glam hooker he thought he was.

he was, of course rushed, getting his last view of himself,
talking, dialing or texting on his cell phone,
wondering f he had shut off his computer...
and then,
from no where,
with only the sound of raindrops beating down on the sidewalk and street,
from nowhere,
a soft cry...
he reached to grab his Mikli's,
head spinning,
for,
it was as if he heard a long lost lovers voice,
in pain.
crying...
but so soft,
it could have been imagined.
then,
it happened again.
the soft cry...
from his glasses to his trench, he spun,
loooked up,
sideways,
left and right,
and then,
down...
and when his eyes focused,
he jumped back, taken for a moment
by something quite remarkable...
something amazing.
something he had never before seen,
and never before imagined was,
there,
in front of him,
in a box,
with his five identical sisters,
looking up at him with the bluest of blue eyes,
and tears pouring from his face,
a baby.
a six pound,
tiny, innocent, beautiful baby boy...
and he cried because he had found his daddy,
and somehow, hie daddy knew also,
that he had just found his baby boy.
the love of his life began that day.
cuddled up in his Marc Jacobs trench
snuggled into Rei Kawakubo's cotton plain placket front shirt,
as they arrived off the subway,
and the skies had calmed and God had stopped the angels from crying,
they walked into the book signing.
paparazzi flashed,
sunglasses came down,
hands flew up to hide the cameras,
autographs and onlookers
reached to get a touch, a feel
but he was unbothered,
for, he was hiding the press from the real story.
he looked down to his chest and the baby looked up,
bewildered,
wondering where the fuck he was...
and the daddy looked down, gave a sweet smile of sweetness,
and the baby felt so happy, so relaxed,
that he took his first peepee with,
and on,
his daddy.
daddy, feeling the warm peepee soak his Comme des,
reached in, grabbed the baby and threw him up in the air,
joyously exclaiming
"this IS my baby, he just pee'd on me!"
and the crowd went bizeerk...
the press had a feild day,
and the party turned out,
after all,
to be a succes.


and that's what happened the day daddy met Buddy, his little baby boy who he loves so so so so much...