lucky2beme

Best Vocal Deep House 2012 Mixed

some days i wake up and i feel like i've failed.

i look down at the calendar, see nothing written down, and then

my head starts to spin, my body starts to ache,

what do i do now, no one hires me, well, 

not the clients i seek,

and i continue my plight down a spiral that makes me feel weak. 

as i try one more time to make calls to someone,

anyone,

i feel misery take over, and then i know that i'm done.

i check facebook, then i twitter,

about nothing really, well, whatever.

and then out of nowhere, i'll flip through the web,

and my eye catch something

i should have missed, but instead,

i stop, and i stare, 

a rush floods my mind back to a time back as i recall being there.

all those faces, all the bodies, the sweat, and the cocks,

some hard without trying, others too nervous to ever be,

and i realize that really,

i am quite lucky.

maybe i can't remember their names, or when it was,

but each photo tells me something that i just can't explain...

i know every second, in almost every case,

was it hot? was it cold?

doesn't matter anyway.

all i know is that these faces that now look back at me,

have become a compilation of what i will one day, be.

everyone of these guys, everyone of the places we shot, 

every detail in the wardrobe, or the cut of their hair reminds me,

i was there.

these boys r like brothers, they helped make me who i am.

and i thank each one of them, and remember just why

i am nothing but, at the end of the day,

a very lucky guy...

 

PROCRASTINATION

procrastinate (prəʊˈkræstɪˌneɪt, prə-)
— vb
	( usually intr ) to put off or defer (an action) until a later time; delay
[C16: from Latin prōcrāstināre to postpone until tomorrow, from pro- 1 + crās tomorrow]

IT WAS SOMETHING HE COULD, AND A LOT OF TIMES DID DO, LITERLLY, WITH HIS EYES CLOSED.  HE HAD MADE IT AN ARTFORM. BUT THERE WERE THINGS TO GET DONE, PEOPLE TO SEE AND CONTACT, A NEW APARTMENT THAT DEPERATLY WANTED TO BE DEORATED, BUT FIRST HAD TO BE UNPACKED...HE COULD DO NOTHING EXCEPT SIT ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER ALL DAY REHASHING GOSIP AND TIDBIT OF USELES INFORMATION THAT HE HAD READ ON PEOPLES PAGES, HE COULD TWEET SOMETHING THAT REALLY WASN'T ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL, HE COULD POST NEW PICCTURE OR VIEW OTHER PEOPLES PICYURES ON FACEBOOK, MAKE COMMENTS ABOUT WHATEVER, OR...MAYBE, FOR A CHANGE, HE COUL SMOKE SOME WEED AND CHILL...
HMMMMMM...





OR HE COULD WHORE OUT HIS NEW BOOK, AGAIN...

http://www.amazon.com/J-O-Joe-Oppedisano/dp/3867874298

OR HIS CALENDAR...

http://www.brunogmuender.com/products/details/id/6817_J_O_2013/

OK JOE, ENOUGH, TIME TO UNPACK UR SHIT...UGH.

 

CHAPTER NINE-AT LAST

At Last-Etta James

Although the calendar showed as proof it was still summer,

there was a underlying chill in the air that left you with goosebumps,

which was always a tell true sign of fall's fast approach.

not challenging natures warning,

he picked up his pace as he adjusted the lapels on his jacket more tightly around his neck.

he was almost there when he looked up and for the first time in months

began to notice just how beautiful his surroundings were.

the homes which stood tall, side by side,
were ornate stone, yellow or deep red brick built sturdily in the early 20's
when this town reigned with influence and prestige
before the crash destroyed it's chances
and left it a virtual ghost town for over a decade.

each residence had a slightly different influence from the next.

there were classic victorian elements to them all, giving them

a majestic and old world feeling reminisent of close families, tight knit bonds
and a sense of secureness that made him yearn for his long lost youth.

turning onto his block, he slowed down his pace and observed the fortress-like brownstones
on the tall maple tree lined block.

directly across the street stood an impressive gothic church with bell towers and a manicured park.
four latin men sat at a folding table in mismatched folding chairs at the curb
argueing over a neighborhood game of dominos that had probably been ongoing for decades.

he breathed a deep breath inhaling the brisk evening air,
sending a chill up his spine and a slight tingle which connected deep into his soul.

As he was only steps from his doorway,

he smelled the sweet smell of the grape vines that wofted in the breeze,

their bases twisted up a trellis and cascaded over his head and up he brick to the third story,

creating a quite path that gave it great charm and privacy.

the wrought iron gate that opened up onto the front door was open, as he rarely locked it,

and there, laying in the middle of the foyer was his faithful dog Buddy,

his head lay supported on his spread paws, eyes opened, and a crooked smile forming on his mouth.

when he caught sight of him, he jumped up on all fours and pleasantly barked his excitement.

it was sweet, it was simple, it felt right, it felt secure, it was mature, it was sane,

it was his, it was home.

That night, as they lay side by side in bed,

there was an unspoken yet completely understood sense in both their not to long ago troubled minds that they had safely left their tumultuous past far behind.

now they could rest without worry, sleep soundly and be assured an even better tomorrow.

.

Ten and a half hours later,

as the church bell chimed noon, in each others arms they awoke.

he shook his head, looked around, paniced slightly then smiled when he realized that

this wasn't a dream...
after all he had been through,
after what he had seen,
after years of feeling like an outsider,
he felt secure in the knowledge that the demons that taunted him him for years were now gone.
at last he was safe, had survived, and had grown.
he had fought hard and had conqured each one face to face, eye to eye, inch by inch.
he had traveled the distance, over mountains, crossing seas,
but that was now just part of his long history,
it was finally over,
he was home.





http://www.beautifulmag.com/beautiful/2009/03/joe-oppedisanos-renaissance.html

 

what a difference a day makes

 L ate last night, as i tried to relax, from the day i had had, the weeks, months and years of hanging literally in space, suspended by strings, that were about to surely break. i had driven 4 hour to get down to new jersey, but my gps on my phone misunderstood me when i said the address, it heard something else, so i drove round in circles as Buddy hypeventilated, i chain smoked and the battery on my phone died out.
as i finaly pulled up to the curb of my new place, in my 17 foot long u-haul, and my head in a fucked up space, not realizing just how long and big my truck was, i smashed into a car that turned out to be the next door neighbors, which, by coincidence, she had just gotten out of th shop...the police were called, report filed, and alas, we began to unload, and then, with all that behind me, i started to anticipate  had made a wrong move, it was going to be a disaster, i had a string of bad luck following me, and i'd surely detroy anything good that could ever come my way, just because, well, thats me, and so i panicked and freaked out...and what i wrote next was the final thing i did before i passed out for 12 hours...

ITS BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME SINCE MY MIND COULD REST, ALTHOUGH I'M SO TIERD, I CAN'T RELAX ENOUGH TO JUST LAY DOWN, BREATHE REAL DEEP, GET MYSELF TO UNWIND, BUT I STILL CAN'T SLEEP. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? A MILLION BOXES PACKED, STARING BACK AT YOU, I TRY TO DO THE BEST I CAN, BUT TONIGHT I JUST DONT GIVE A DAMN. WHEN FINALLY FROM NOWHERE I FEEL AT EASE. OH GOD LET ME FALL ASLEEP REAL SOON, PLEASE, MY MIND STILL RACES MY TEETH ARE CLENCHED, I SWEAR TO GOD, THIS DON'T MAKE NO SENSE...JUST 6 HOURS, MAYBE MORE, I NEED TO SLEEP,  
 

this morning, well, afternoon, around 12, my housemate knocked on my door, bearing smiles and coffee, and as i opened my eyes, in my new bedroom, which has huge windows looking out into the backyard, and as Buddy jumped up, and in my had, still not sure where i was, i layed down for just 10 more minutes so my mind could asess, that i'd left the past now, behind, and whatever crap that i'd been through, no matter how hard i had cried, all the crappy shitholes i'd slept in, they were all in my past...and today, as just another day...



 this is the place i now call home...

thank god that's all over,

now, i have to move on.

and from this day forward,

for the rest of my life

i will only look ahead,

that chapters over,

closed.

the end...

today

"Empire State of Mind" Jay-Z | Alicia Keys [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

today, right now, is another day.
no matter how bad you had it, it's the past, it's over, that was yesterday...there's no time to spend looking back, nows the moment to plan your attack. for no other day, for the rest of all of time, holds within it the power, to make sure that your destiny
truly shines.  your now on your 9th life, it's more than your second chance, it's now or it is never, step up and dance the dance.
in life you get no guarentees, you win some, then you lose some, sometimes come out even, sometimes you ride, sometimes you hold, and then hit the jakcpot and you've struck gold. i've had a million chances to let me start again, this time i know, theres no more left, i had really hit zero, so i haven't got much time to make the best of myself shine. when ahead u see the final yard, you push yourself, and you push hard, for never again, in your lietime, will you be there in the perfect place at the right time. so don't look back, don't waste your time just walk the  thin and narow line, because theres only one more chance to go, make it count, so take it slow. always remember from where you came, never forget what it feels like in the pouring rain, you've been given this, so don't fuck it up, you can do it, i know u can, make yourself proud, it's easier than going backwards, again and again, keep moving forward, just be yourelf, a stronger man than you evr thought you'd ever be, but this, my friend, is your destiny...

12

David Guetta - Titanium ft. Sia

12.

(everything happens for a reason)

as the countdown begins, i start to understand that the quote i am most heard repeating, is a double edged sword that indeed cuts both ways...and deep.

as i start writing, i casually glance at the clock on my screen and notice it's exactly 8:00pm. it hits me, but not hard, that in exactly 12 hours, the entire nightmare that i have been living for the past three years, especially hard were the last two months, all the drama, pain, frustration, lonliness, heartache, fear and insanity are almost over.
and so, i sit at my laptop, feeling relaxed, relieved, and a bit resentful, but all in all, inside i am rejoicing. by the time the first light of dawn breaks over the spectacular catskill moutains, when it's rays reach the majetic hudson valley and caress the cold waters of the hudson river, i will be alive once more. it's almost a feeling like i am about to be born again, and this time, this child, knows more, has lived 8 of his 9 lives that were lived so fast, so hard, so strong, and so wonderfully, and he is greatful that he got this second chance. it almost didn't come, it almost died a thousand times, butit's brve heart never stopped beating, it never let go, it beat all the obsticals, jumped every hurdle, and somehow, managed to keep his head held high, shoulders back, chin up and mind in tact.

it wasn't easy, but really, what did he expect...

it taught him lesons that he wish to god he never had to learn, but there they were, in his face, he had nowhere to turn, nowhere to hide, no one to help him, so a lot of the time, he cried...

what did he do to deserve the hardships that were so extreme sometimes that it was still even shocking to him, just how he made it through in one piece. but survive he did, and with no help at all, his skin got thicker, his mind sharper, his tounge more split, he had come here a soldier and would leave it a warrior.though he aged many more years than he lived, his mind hadn't faded, his enthusiasm didn't faulter, his creativity flourished, and his memory stayed true, for it never now would forget this nightmare had showed him, it taught him many lessons that he thought he alredy knew, but this time that they showed better examples, s the prie wa much higher, the stakes were much steeper, for if by chance he just once teetered, he would have fallenmch farther, been in waters too deep, and so now, this night over, he would enjoy peaceful sleep.

11.

i know i have nothing more to relay.

my eyes are closing, and my muscle feel sore,

i'm alone now, only Buddy by my side,

he was there, thick and thin, every day, every night...

and so to him i promise one thing, loud, an clear,

from now on, nothing will ever come between us,i will mae sure that you never are hungry, always have a warm bed, i will give you everything i can...

because in your lifetime, you only get one true love.

only one man will tand by you, an only one will be there through the hardest days, and the longest nights...

if he knew just how much i love him,

appreciated his loyalty,his kisses, his smile...

i think he has an idea...

i hope he knows, because he is the love of my life,

no man could even come close.

if that boy could talk..

10.

it's now time to rest, we have a long day tomorrow, but it' a new day, with new faces to meet, new home to get adjusted to, a new life to begin.

it may sound insane,

but somewhere deep in my heart, i will miss this place that caused me so many tears,

but it was my home, good or bad, for 45 years...

when i wake up, it will be the last time i ever wake up here.

i miss it already.

 

 

my past...

 

 

 

 

 

 

my future.

 

to be continued...

 

everything happens for a reason

www.wigparty.org

 

 

the old saying is "never count ur chickens before they hatch" seems intillectually sound, but leaves nothing to the imagination or fact that sometimes when you count your chickens before they're hatched,, u find yourself creating wonderful fantasies of what the chickens will do that will be entertaining and uplifting, even possibly change your life for the better...so, if you don't dream,of them, then when the chickens in fact do hatch you have nothing but reality to do with the, like change their hay, feed them etc. but personally,i like counting my chickens, not all the time, but sometimes when i have something tht i feel is going to be espeially interesting and/or fun, or even for that matter, life changng, i think that counting them, imagining them in every way possible and looking forward to the day when they actually come into fruition, then you have already had a glimpse of just what might be, what could be, and hopefully what will be. and that, i believe, is an increible platform in starting any kind of relationship. if he fantasy dosn't work out as dreamed that doesn't men youve wasted your time, but it means that your beautiful mind has just expanded, grown and branched out to show you things that somewhere the future may hold for you, something that maybe you didn't see coming, maybe its someone that you never expeted, in a way you never imagined, on a day when you werent looking for anything in particular, and maybe your last thought in the world was that something magnficent was about to come into your life and change it forever...

that's exactly the very moment the best things in life come to you.

if you look to hard, you'll never find it.

but if you just let it happen, let destiny take its course and let the universe have its way, then it will come to you two fold.

life isn't about you, really.

it has a course that it follows naturally, without even trying.

when you try to hard, you mess it up.

when you relax and let it be, you will be shocked at the wondrous things that you will see.

relax my boy.

it's the very first day of the very first time we met in this lifetime, and from what i can see as i count my chickens, is a farm overrun as two boys from two different countries on two different continents of two different generations and two different minds, cross, create sparks, smile, and enjoy just what the world expected it would be, for thats why we, affter all this tme, were in the same place, at the very same moment, introduced by someone that neither of us really knew, on a day when you were headed to bed, and i had just by complete accident, woken up after i fell asleep after walking my dog...

everything happens for a reason.

i don't know what that reason is, but i do know that i would very much like to find out...

3million thirty one, 3million thirty two, 3milion thirty three....

i just ‎can't stop counting.

:)

 

DAY 47

Sister Sledge - We Are Family (Adam Clarke Club Funk Mix).




we were family...
now i know how you really be.



two more days left.
fuck...
thank god this nightmare is almost over.

the past 47 days of my life have aged me probably 20 years. when i think back to the first couple of days, i remember that i didn't think it would take this long, never imagined it wuld be so hard to endure, or tht it would make me an official member of real America. white trash, that is, i mean...Buddy and i have had 47 nights the road basically, going from motel to motel, stopping at gas stations for dinner, waking up on different couches on a regular basis, imposing ourselves on friends and, what is left of my family. although they really showed me just how to get down n dirty with the white trash crew. the very peole who i know for a fact were raised better than that, proved to me just how to act if you want to make someone feel like thy aint wanted...don't think for a minute that these holier than thou rednecks did one thing to lift a finger or lend a hnd, quite the opposite. i never felt a winter breeze as cld as the reception my "family" gave to me. but they proved to me that just cause your bonded by blood, don't make ya have to love each other, it just means that your grandaddy stuck his cock in grandma too many times, and lost track of ho many little ones he had running around the trailer. it was one of the most shocking displays of humanity i hope i'll never see again. well, they shwed me one thing and that one thing is pretty solid and simple. they showed me how to never treat anyone...ope, never would i make anyone feel so unwanted. ctually, they didn't even extend that courtesy because they just blatently shut me out the ery same day they loaded up my parents trucks and ried and said how sad it is that our "family" was so close, how the "love" was so sincere, how the "bond" we all shared was something mom and pop (my grandparents who birthed these idiots) were the inspiration for this solid foundation that no one can tear apart. bullshit. literally after my uncle hlped me shove the last of my shit in my truck, and i tried to say goodbye, when i held out my hand to him and the rest of them, offering an extension to reach us into and take us hand in hand into the future, i was escorted out and as i drove away, me n Buddy, when i went to honk to say my last farewell to the house i grew up in, the faimly that i felt so lucky to have been taken in by, and the parents who held me so close, by the time i beeped the horn as the last jesture i'd make to the place i called home, when i looked back, tears welling up in my eyes, to my shock and surprise, they had already left. thy didn't even see me off, as if they were so releived that i had finally left, that just turned their backs hoping, that i'd never return...

and i never will.

the next 46 days have been spent on the computer, in a motel on the side of the highway in upstate new york. i saw the seasons change through the cracked rear view window of my pickup truck. atumn in new york is such a spetacular place to be, especcially the view you get from your $45 dollar a day room that faces either the highway traffic or if you wanted to go a little more upscale, you had the parking lot views that boast trash dumpsters and overgrown weeds "local scenic beauty". i've eaten nothing but ontinental breakasts now for 47 days in a row, an can't even recall the last time i had protein in my system. the most times i ha tochew anything to get to swallow was maybe 5, cause ice cream bars just melt in your mouth and the times it takes to chew a poptart isn't that high either. oh yea, gum. i guess gum would count as the most timmes my mouth was in use, butthen after the sugar was gone i'd spit it out anyway, so, maybe100 chews, but nothing like the number of times it takes to chew down a nice rare piee of steak grilled on charcoal with corn on the cob, fresh tomatoes and basil from the garden smothered with olive oil and maybe some home made cole slaw...hell, that's what i know my fucking family was chowing down at one of the "family get togethers" they had forgotten to call and invite me to.
for the record, i am not bitter. disappointed, yes, bitter, well...maybe just a little.

so here it is, day 47. i've ben up all night cause i just an't sleep on this bed and its pillows that have little cusioning. the best nights sleep i've had in 46 nights would have had to be one about 28 days ago when i slet and i dreed because i had just sent out $3,000. to secure what i thought as the apartment i always dreamed of that, two days later, i found out i didn't get, for some reason that still to this day remains a mystery. that was th very last time in 47 days that my body went limp, my eyes fluttered back and pretty thoughts filled my head. i slept peacefully knowing thatin just a few days, i would be going back home, to the city i loved, and the people i trusted. the city that raised me to know if someone lik me, cause they (new yorkers) don't hve time to play games. if we don't like you, don't worry, you'll know. but theres truly nothing better than the family i have found on the streets of new york. the people are real, you know in a seon how they feel, no it's not like l.a., for we are true. it's strange to me why new yorkers have such a bad reputation. theres not a tourist i've ver spoken to who's asked me a direction or for a good place to eat, that i didn't stop, give dirctions to, even walk them there if they were going my way. in new york, i learned how to trust my instincts and my gut, never thought twice that i wasn't good enough, because new yorkers will tell you, they'll roll their eyes and then let you have it for your stupidity or ignorance. it may sound soetims harsh, but it's honest and true. and you know in an instant how they really feel about you.i guess they showed me the way that i think all people should b. if you love me, then tell me, if you don't, let me be. i guess when i balance out the two diffrent worlds i grew up in, i choose the one that i now know is the only real family i can depend on. the same peope who i rarely ever see, beause they're just way to busy, ar the ame one who would, if you needed, lend you support when you need it, mae you look at things a different ay that maybe isn't the usual or preictable way but it's quite possibly the way that it just may work...the way i learned growing up surrounded by the very same people who turned their backs on me when i needed them the most, is the way i now know to be the way i don't ever want again. all those morals and gatherings once a week, in the end, don't mean anything, if when truely you need them they have somehow disappered..what about all the times we said we loved each other throughout 40some years? i guess they were just saidbecause they were expected, not said because they were meant. the thoughtless gifts and cards that are just signed at chritmas or birthay don't really mean much at all, compared to a gift that is chosen and thought out, or a card that is written out personally to someone who is appreciated for who they are, not just because they were part of some litter of kids that just happend to be shit out and raised to keep the name going, just because, and or what? i've een both worlds pretty insightful, and i know what i see is that tru th be told, i know who i can really call, through it all, family.

so, day 47.
i never thught it woul come down to this. never thought i'd lern lessons that i hadn't learnd before. as a tough street smart man who thought he would never be shocked by such simple minded people who he just thought woud somehow always have a place somewhere in his heart for sentimental things that happened 30some years ago, as i patiently await to return to the ciy that can swallow you whole, spit you out and leave your soul empty and pale,on day 47, i have to say honestly, i choose the second, for i always know where i stand. i never again will think that what we had was unique beause you've shown me the truth, both sides, and i choose the family i never have to second guess...this seems to me like it could be a dream, or a nightmare actually. but in two days time, my eyes will open and i'll be fine, back in the place i belong. not just beause they have to let me in, but because there, i know for certain, i am part of a family that doesn't lie, isn't fake, and won't tell you they love you just because...they tell you, when theyre ready, and they mean it, and it's real.

day 47.
2 more days.
god, i never imagined the things that i've seen, the way i've been treated by the ones who "loved" me...but it's better i know, i learned lessons and was shown, what i just might have been if i never left home.

GOOGLE ME

sometimes i like to google my name,

 

it's interesting what comes up...

cause the images are all arranged

in no certain order, model, time, there's no reason why.

sometimes i think that someone is out there, controlling and manipulating every photo, rearranging, mixing up shoots, putting models with other models they don't ncessarily like, or a different time frame...it really makes no sense at all, but when i'm bored and all alone, this gives me something crazy to think about...like who really cares, no one but me would ever know, and anyway, if there was really someone out there who had nothing better to do than rearrange the pictures on my goggle page, don't you think by now i woul have seen him

 

https://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=off&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=joe+oppedisano&oq=joe&gs_l=hp.1.0.35i39l2j0l8.2811.3562.1.6289.3.3.0.0.0.0.835.2106.4-1j0j2.3.0.les%3B..0.0...1c.1.uyXgX2NUjbo&psj=1&fp=1&biw=1024&bih=477&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.&cad=b

 

http://www.amazon.com/Testosterone-Joe-Oppedisano/dp/386187878X

 

http://www.joeo.com/

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=joe+oppedisano&hl=en&safe=off&prmd=imvnslo&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=Y0ZcUK2-OKL10gGx9oGIDQ&ved=0CEsQsAQ&biw=1024&bih=477

 

 

http://www.ohlalamag.com/en/joe_oppedisano/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUT WHAT I FIND SO STRANGE, AND KIND OF FUNNY, IS THAT THERES NOT ONE SINGLE PHOTOGRAPH OF A WOMAN, THERE ARE PHOTOS I'VE SHOT, THT I DON'T EVEN RECALL, MODELS AND FRIENDS ARE SCATTERD AROUND IN NO PARTICULAR SCHEME, ORDER, NOTHING. EACH FRAME HS NOTHING IN COMMON WITH THE NEXT.

AND YET, SOMEHOW THEY ARE ALL RELATED...

 



TODAY

 

 

 

 

 

 

TODAY IT HAPPENED
AND I NEVER THOUGHT,
I'D EVER GET THE DREAM I'D SOUGHT...

 

FOR MANY YEARS, I THOUGHT I'D DIE,
AND IN THAT INSTANT, I BEGAN TO CRY.
FOREVER MORE I WILL UNDERSTAND
WHAT HELL ON EARTH IS LIKE,
FIRST HAND.
I'LL NEVER QUESTION, AND NEVER DOUBT
WHAT THE LESSONS LEARNED
WERE ALL ABOUT.

I CLIMBED MY MOUNTAIN
AND I SURVIVED
ALTHOUGH I'M BRUISED
I'M STILL ALIVE.
TOMORROW'S JUST ANOTHER DAY,
BUT NOW I KNOW,
IT'LL BE OKAY.
JUST KEEP YOUR FAITH
AND SOON YOU'LL SEE
JUST HOW AND WHY IT HAD TO BE
WAS TO PREPARE YOU FOR
YOUR DESTINY.

THREE DAYS WHEN I KNEW IN MY GUT THAT NOTHING WOULD EVER BE THE SAME...

 

 

cheery-o

sometimes i wonder why i even try
it doesn't even matter why,
because the hardest thing of all
no matter how high i climb,
i always fall.
quite frankly i'm just sick of it...to give your best and get back shit...
and then you watch as others fly, and they never even have to try...
it's never fair to me, it seems, why everything happens in extremes.
one day when you feel not so great, the world around you tempts your fate. by casting evil, wicked spells that seem as if they're shot from hell.
the next day happiness proceeds, and little birds chirp symphonys around you everyone smiles and says "have a good day", enough said.
theres got to be an in between, where things are not meerly orange or green...i hope to find it soon, some day, and when i do, i'll stop and say, i feel like everything around me changed, and life has suddenly rearranged, the misery that one i had, has turned around, and now i'm glad i got to see the bad of life, now i can truly, see the light, and never more will i be, miserable beause, indeed, i know both sides, and i choose thee.

nothing is everything

nothings ever easy,
everything is hard,
i'm not as naive as to think
it' easy when it's not.
why is everything so complicated
there's gotta be a better way
i tried my best
but none the less
i failed again today...
no one ever said that things would come to me,
i ever expected that
but when i put it all on the line
there's nothing left that i can hide
s why am i constantly denied
the right to again feel dignified
when others around me, who have lied,
get ahead of me,
while i tand in line
waiting for someone to say
ok, now's your time...
it' not like i am lazy,
it's not like i am dumb,
it's not like i haven't shown the world,
that i am someone...
but people say and people do
everything, and act the fool
they'd rather play by a set of rules
then break away
and rule the world.
nothing ever comes from common
no one  ever became a star
by doing things as they've been done
a thousand times before.
so stop, look, listen
and then you'll maybe see
that i am my own person
i control my destiny.

 

shut up

why?
do people feel the need
to stick their nose in other peoples buisness when they know not of what they speak?
i just don't understand what makes anyone think that they an speak to someone that they think they know, when in fact, they hve only heard one side of the story, have heard only bits and pieces of what that one side chose to disclose, and they believe and then rehash only the bits and pieces they remember from the story to begin with...
people who need people are the un-lukiest people in the world.
they are rarely reliable, scarcely there when needed, predictably unknowledgeable and carelessly outspoken when it comes to their mouths, actions and doings.

just shut up people...i don't care what you think...it doesn't really matter because i know, in my heart, what's real, whats just, whats palatable, and whats true...trust me, i know, better than you.


 

my life as a dog

this is what i had to do to try and get an apartment today...


Mades

6:33 PM (1 hour ago)







to me





ok...one final request..you seem like a very interesting person with a job that would be impressive...
do you have a website link or resume that i can send along with the pics etc?
also how is tmrw at 2-230?
if not we can do thursday







-----Original Message-----
From: Joe Oppedisano [mailto:joeoppedisano1@gmail.com]

Sent: Tue 9/18/2012 5:24 PM
To:



Subject: Re: dog
So sorry that this took so long, unfortunatl for me, everything is in
storage, my hard drives, etc, so i ran over to my parents house anyway,
long story short...lol, here is Buddy, he is a hurricane Katrna rescue, s e
is 7 years ld,wghs 75 pounds, and he is etremely friendly. loves kids, as i
raised hm by my side since i got him at 6 weeks old. I akm a photographer,
so i would bring him onto sets when i shot in studio for clients, and he
has been on the sets of Macy's, Nickelodeon, Loehmanns, etc., and he loves
the models, and they all g crazy over him. he is tall,as his legs are so
long,but that is jus part of the bred, as they are meant to be in swampy
wetands.
if you need anymore in, please let me know.
joe
as you see, he is one of y models, lol, and i photograph him with those
amazing blue eyes all the time.
On Tue, Sep 18, 2012 at 2:44 PM, Miriam wrote:
> I would like to see a photo of the actual dog (not samples of the breed)
> and a description of the dog (age, gender, weight, up to date on shots,
> etc.).
>
> You need to provide me the above..this is the exact request from the
> management.
>
> Also the dogs name
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Joe Oppedisano [mailto:joeoppedisano1@gmail.com]
> Sent: Tue 9/18/2012 12:46 PM
> To: M
> Subject: Re: paperwork
>
> http://search.babylon.com/?s=img&babsrc=HP_ss&rlz=0&q=catahoula leopard
> dog
>
> the breed is a catahua leoad dog. the are the state dog of Louisianna
>
>
>
> On Tue, Sep 18, 2012 at 12:35 PM,
> >wrote:
>
> > what is the breed of dog again?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Joe Oppedisano [mailto:joeoppedisano1@gmail.com]
> > Sent: Tue 9/18/2012 12:27 PM
> > To:  Mades
> > Subject: Re: paperwork
> >
> > I know I must sign and fill out other parts of the application, but I
> didnt
> > hav a printer accessable, and didn't know the address of the buildingI
> was
> > inquiring about.
> > I am crosing my fingers that thisapartment works, I love the images you
> > showed and although I knowI hav problems wit mycredit, I can pay up
> front a
> > substantial ammount, have a secured guarentee wh will sign the lease, and
> > work nd make a good income, and hope that this can work out!
> >  i am headed out to get it printed and sign it nd send it back.
> > I am also looking for the apartment listing number.
> > Joe
> >
> >
> > On Tue, Sep 18, 2012 at 10:54 AM, Miriam
> > >wrote:
> >
> > > Hi Joei now i must sign a
> > >
> > > It was nice meeting with you.
> > >
> > > Read over and fill out the attached...any questions call or email me.
> > >
> > > If you can gather as many of the necessary documents before we go out
> > > looking when you are ready to submit everything it will be quick and
> > easy!
> > >
> > > I look forward to helping you find a new home.
> > >
> > > Best
> >
> > >
> > > M Mades
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > All material herein is intended for information purposes only and has
> > been
> > > compiled from sources deemed reliable. Though information is believed
> to
> > be
> > > correct, it is presented subject to errors, omissions, changes or
> > > withdrawal without notice.
> > >
> > > The information in this electronic mail message is the sender's
> business
> > > confidential and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for
> the
> > > addressee(s). Access to this internet electronic mail message by anyone
> > > else is unauthorized. If you are not the intended recipient, any
> > > disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or omitted to be
> > > taken in reliance on it is prohibited and may be unlawful.
> > >
> > > The sender believes that this E-mail and any attachments were free of
> any
> > > virus, worm, Trojan horse, and/or malicious code when sent. This
> message
> > > and its attachments could have been infected during transmission. By
> > > reading the message and opening any attachments, the recipient accepts
> > full
> > > responsibility for taking protective and remedial action about viruses
> > and
> > > other defects. The sender's employer is not liable for any loss or
> damage
> > > arising in any way from this message or its attachments.
> > >
> > > Citi Habitats is a licensed real estate broker. Owned and operated by
> NRT
> > > LLC.
> > >
> >
> > All material herein is intended for information purposes only and has
> been
> > compiled from sources deemed reliable. Though information is believed to
> be
> > correct, it is presented subject to errors, omissions, changes or
> > withdrawal without notice.
> >
> > The information in this electronic mail message is the sender's business
> > confidential and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the
> > addressee(s). Access to this internet electronic mail message by anyone
> > else is unauthorized. If you are not the intended recipient, any
> > disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or omitted to be
> > taken in reliance on it is prohibited and may be unlawful.
> >
> > The sender believes that this E-mail and any attachments were free of any
> > virus, worm, Trojan horse, and/or malicious code when sent. This message
> > and its attachments could have been infected during transmission. By
> > reading the message and opening any attachments, the recipient accepts
> full
> > responsibility for taking protective and remedial action about viruses
> and
> > other defects. The sender's employer is not liable for any loss or damage
> > arising in any way from this message or its attachments.
> >
> > Citi Habitats is a licensed real estate broker. Owned and operated by NRT
> > LLC.
> >
>
> All material herein is intended for information purposes only and has been
> compiled from sources deemed reliable. Though information is believed to be
> correct, it is presented subject to errors, omissions, changes or
> withdrawal without notice.
>
> The information in this electronic mail message is the sender's business
> confidential and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the
> addressee(s). Access to this internet electronic mail message by anyone
> else is unauthorized. If you are not the intended recipient, any
> disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or omitted to be
> taken in reliance on it is prohibited and may be unlawful.
>
> The sender believes that this E-mail and any attachments were free of any
> virus, worm, Trojan horse, and/or malicious code when sent. This message
> and its attachments could have been infected during transmission. By
> reading the message and opening any attachments, the recipient accepts full
> responsibility for taking protective and remedial action about viruses and
> other defects. The sender's employer is not liable for any loss or damage
> arising in any way from this message or its attachments.
>
> Citi Habitats is a licensed real estate broker. Owned and operated by NRT
> LLC.
>
All material herein is intended for information purposes only and has been compiled from sources deemed reliable. Though information is believed to be correct, it is presented subject to errors, omissions, changes or withdrawal without notice.
The information in this electronic mail message is the sender's business confidential and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the addressee(s). Access to this internet electronic mail message by anyone else is unauthorized. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or omitted to be taken in reliance on it is prohibited and may be unlawful.
The sender believes that this E-mail and any attachments were free of any virus, worm, Trojan horse, and/or malicious code when sent. This message and its attachments could have been infected during transmission. By reading the message and opening any attachments, the recipient accepts full responsibility for taking protective and remedial action about viruses and other defects. The sender's employer is not liable for any loss or damage arising in any way from this message or its attachments.
Citi Habitats is a licensed real estate broker. Owned and operated by NRT LLC.





 Reply

 Forward












Joe Oppedisano joeoppedisano1@gmail.com

7:31 PM (4 minutes ago)







to Miriam





the world works in such mysterious ways...lol
my website is actually under construction a i type, because my new book comes out in 2 weeks, and i wanted everything changed and modernized what it comes out.
hee tho, are barnes & noble and amazon.com links to my books, as well as, if i can find it, one for the calendars, as well as the youtube link that is here, is a documentry that was shot 2 years go when i was booked to shoot a calendar of a bunch of mma (mixed martial arts) fighters for a calendar.
i hope you like, hope they arent too over the top, and  hope they help..
Joe

new book and calendar being released in a few weeks:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/j-o-joe-oppedisano/1112072775

http://www.brunogmuender.com/products/details/id/6817_J_O_2013/

http://www.amazon.com/J-O-Joe-Oppedisano/dp/3867874298

1st book:
http://www.amazon.com/Testosterone-Joe-Oppedisano/dp/386187878X
( turned out to be oe of the biggt sellng erotic gay of all ime, went  into 6printings the 1st year, and we had the official firt book signing at Rizzoli on 57th st nd itgot written u in the NY Times)

2nd book:
http://www.amazon.com/Uncensored-Joe-Oppedisano/dp/1934525677/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y

documenty DVD:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3zl0CW8G_M


ok, so, you figured me out. lol, i will give you a bit of insight. i shoot also for calvin kein, carmen marc valvo, nautica, etc.when my 1st ook was released, it became huge, outselling every ther book that year. it made me agay icon-ish kid f perso in that i am cmpared to robert mappelthorepe and to of finland. all of which was never intended, but is something i appreciate and am proud of. so, 2 years ago, i had the month of August off, as no one in fashion works that month, so i went upstate to visit my family and take my dog out of the city to go running, hiking, etc. in the month i was there, my mother broke both of her knees, my father was diagnossed with Alzheimers, and my 12 year od nephew was diagnossed with brain cancer. now, becaue i dont work every day and a lot of my work i can do at home (photoshop, etc) i sublet my apartment and moved upstate to help my sister. i made an arrangement with the guy who sublet my apartment to have him pay the landord directly as i had a lot on my plate, and he was a friend of a friend. 6 months later i get a call from my ex saying he's at the apartment and theres a note on the door to cotact the management company. so i did...nd they told me the rent hadn't been paid in 5 months, and i owed $15,000.  almost died. i tried to contact the guy who subet, but he had, by that time, already moved out and not only had he not paid the rent, but he hd used pay per view to its limt, and just to restore the cable was $1200. so, at that point, even thuh i had lved at tht apartment 995 Chrsopher St) for 15 years, i took it as a sign that it was time to move on and so, called the management company telling them the situation i told them i would make a payment plan, and the, moved out. i was never served eviction papers, ever, and they had my forwarding address, as i left it, because i was stil getting a ton of mail and checks there. i never heard that there was a court case around me and this apartment until last friday, and it killed me because i literally was paying 2500. a month for 15 years, never had a problem, and now, 3 years later, when my family is bette and i'm trying to launch a new book and restart m career, i get the notice that i am basically red flagged, for something i never heard of, was neer given paperwork to appear at, or never had the chance to fight the ase, or to settle it.
so, if you can just try and understand that i am not out to just take advantage of anyoe, but i am trying to get myself back home, to nyc, where i work, and lived for 30 years.


i will speak toyou tomorrow
i hope yu have a great night.

for only me

every single day that goes by, i am amazed just how quikley it went.
how much i thought i had to do, is scary, because probably only 1/10 of what i originally wanted to do, got the slightest touch, and then i moved onto smething else, just as if not more important. but these days are very trying. the nights are getting colder, the days are not as long, or brght, or happy. it feels like a for of death is creeping silently into the room with every shiver i get down my spine, everytime there is a cool breeze.
i'm exhausted.
i keep trying, i keep fighting, i keep failing.
for the first time in my lfe, things ren't going the way they should, or the way i planned.
every door i see comes slamming toward me, every second i spend trying to make things better for mysef, i find myself digging a little deeper into the ground, where i'm just about at 6 feet under.
i don't know how much more i an take.
if i stay in this town anther season, i guarentee you i'll break.
i've spent $2,000. on hotels the last month alone,
i'm dwindling as fast as my bank account, and my mind isn't there as much as it used to be either.
i'm alone.
every night, i lay in bd and hold my bab, the love of my life, Buddy, who, is the only one who has been b my ide through it all. he's the only one that kisses me anymore, the nly one that looks at me with eyes of wonder, the only one that makes me feel ok, secure, and happy.
and without him, i think i'd probablynot have lasted this long...
i had a real estate agent tel me recently she thought it was time i got rid of him, to mae it easier to get an apartment...
i told her to fuck off.
i guess that apartment just wasn't meant to be.
but Buddy, is definatly what the universe intended when they saw what i would be going through, and so, they sent me a beautiful baby boy, an  he watches over me every nght, no matter how hideous the world is around us, i know for a fact, that there is love in his eyes, for only me....
thats the only thing getting me through these last few months...
so, please god, please let this stop, and please let me find a home for Buddy and me...
we've had enough.
we want to go home.