PONY RIDE

If everyone you think you know

is actually everything they want you 

to believe they are,

is it really such a stretch to believe that

everything they really are

is nothing like the thing they created and tried to sell off as real

in the first place.

So, is it too much to ask that they ever 

come close to resemble

the things they describe 

and tried to pass off as

anything even remotely similar to,

in the same genre as,

in the general direction,

or ballpark of

what they don't want you to know 

to be the truth?

In the long run, 

that very thing they are trying to become

is actually the extreme opposite of

the very thing they sought out to hide in the first place...

so how, what, and why would we ever move beyond or forward 

to trust what they will say

ever again?

or is it just something we must chalk up to a grand illusion of sorts 

that was nothing more than one's own inability to be satisfied 

with what the gods had thought they were being so generous to bestow.

but then that leaves us to all have to wonder

if in fact any of us are ever truly grateful,

or are we just maybe a little embarrassed for the gifts

confused at why we were chosen,

and so the natural reaction would be shame,

for it's not even a possibility we were ever really worthy...

But the worthy ones always know, deep down, 

that they in fact are deserving of such a rich reward as to actually live the fantasy 

the others create,

but they will probably never get the actual chance to enjoy the benefits

because they won't ever feel the need to complete the tasks 

that these gifts eventually always demand.

         So you have to really ask yourself,

can i even handle the truth???


who is he that some see as something other than what he seems? is it really, could it be, that the real one's better than the fantasy...tonight i found out and i was shocked indeed, to find that i had fallen victim to his loving scheme.

       https://www.facebook.com/PONYTIM

 

MANkUNT 101

Positive K - I Got A Man 

So many men,

so long a time to get them to agree to actually

 hook the fuck up...

manhunt has destroyed the institution formerly called cruising, or even picking up, fuck, it's even just ruined fucking...

 wasted hour upon hour when i could have been getting a hair weave, or better yet, looking for a job, but my cock had to have its way, and so, hey, i sat there, mindlessly, thinking, "maybe thiS guys serious..."

only to be, again, sadly disappointed, and blue balled to boot.

nothing new, as i've learned the hard way living in nyc for almost 30 years,

what you want ya can't have, what ya can have easily, ya never really want, but ya do it, just cuz...well, why the fuck not.

but enuf is enuf of this severely foolish stuff, and it's time to move on, stroke a load out and be gone...

no more cam4 or manhunt or skype or whatever, it's time to realize that the computer game of "what u into" becomes ever so twisted when they wanna know where ur from, what ur favorite food is, and what your mothers maiden name is....

beotch, why do that make any kinda difference, all i wanna do is stuff my dick in ur shitter...

get it?

but the ones that should never do, and so, the pain of it all is dumped onto you, and me, and anyone who's really horny. 

ok, so, like, as if i aint bustin on faggots enough on that damn fuckin site...

just now i get an email, finally i think again, "maybe this guy is serious" well, i open the profile 1st and the guy is of course tertiary looking on the scale from one to a zillion, but then i opened up the email, and beotch gots the balls to ask me if i want to hook up when he's in nyc this august.

BEOTCH! WTF!?

   is ya stupid? is ya a retard? is ya just really so trusting and anticipating that trip to nyc that your looking to find men almost an entire year before your here..so, thats that...i'm done for the day, im gonna stroke out my 4 day nut and get the fuck to bed.

UGH... 

here's some pix of some other guys i've never slept with...

lol

 

- Appreciate me, cause i'm not impressed...

Amuka - Appreciate me (Peter Rauhofer mix)

i really hate to have to be the one that actually has to say

that sometimes, what comes out your mouth

 to most just sounds insane,

but someone with the proper knowledge knows more bout your display

and recognizes that it's just become a bit cliche... 

so don't feel that you have to try and impress me with such lies

all it really does to me is make me roll my eyes.

to think there was a time

not even very long ago

when i thought you were the best

that lasted not even a week,

and now i'm not impressed.

(Theatre Of Delays Remix)

      Adele - Skyfall (Theatre Of Delays Remix)


      that was the end.
i counted forwards, backwards 
from one to ten,
repeated twice 

and then again,

now i never will resolve the trend

of where exactly did it start or end.

maybe tomorrow we can start again

and then

have the strength and not pretend

that the vicious cycle

can start 

again

unresolved, it will then

becomes the beginning to the end...

there's something to be said, my friend

for someone smart enough to comprehend

the necessity to make amends

and never ever to depend

on things which now we understand

to be the things that caused the end...

let the sky fall

let it crumble

hear it tremble

breaking soundwaves

from every peaked and strung out decibel.

        it's time we can let it go and tell

             of just how far we let it bend

but stopped before what it would intend

to be then most bitter start up of the end

           but had the power to make it end,

and somehow save the things we tend

to take for granted in

 the end...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwolenVLZh4

OPP (Ultamix remix)

OPP (Ultamix remix)



and this is why u down....

Running Up That Hill-again.

Placebo - Running Up That Hill


when you're at the mercy of someone who isn't really that capable...

what do you do when enough is enough?

who do you call when you've called your own bluff? and how can you stay on track when you yourself can't move forward enough to know the bad things you've done are just silly stuff that you'll never get over unless you stop them and trust that tomorrow is better if you can get past the rough?

so i sit and i think, how can it be?

has it really happened, is it real, or possible, or a dream?

have you been mis-diagnosed for so many years, or is it all just that the drugs from the first diagnosis weren't strong enough? 

so again i ask,

what do you do when you're at the mercy of someone who isn't really that, capable...

(and that person is you)

  there's a thunder in our hearts.
it's you n me...
u n me won't be unhappy.
if i only could
make a deal with the gods
get him to swap our places...

be running up that road

be running up that hill,

be running up that building.

Oops up

Snap! - Oops up 

IS AS GOOD AS IT GOT

AS GOOD AS IT GETS?

WHEN AS HARD AS I TRY

DO I HAVE TO TRY HARDER?

WILL THE MISTAKES THAT I MADE

EVER MAKE SENSE ENOUGH TO LEARN FROM?

WAS IT WORTH IT, IN THE END

OR DID I DESTROY IT AND CAUSE THE END?

THE QUESTIONS I ASK ARE NOT QUESTIONS I KNOW THE ANSWERS TO, THEY ARE THINGS THAT I THINK I KNOW, BUT ACTUALLY NEVER EVEN COME CLOSE TO KNOWING BECAUSE I'M TOO RETARDED TO GRASP THE REAL EFFECTS OF EVERY MOVE I MAKE ON EVERYTHING AROUND ME.

IS IT TIME TO GROW UP?

IS IT TIME TO LOOK AHEAD?

IS IT POSSIBLE TO NEVER KNOW?

IS IT PROBABLE I'LL NEVER MOVE PAST, RISE ABOVE OR MOVE ON?

 

 HAVE I GRASPED THE LAST STRAW AND PULLED UP THE SHORT STICK?           WILL I EVER LEARN?

WHEN IT MAKES LITTLE OR NO SENSE, BUT MEANS EVERYTHING AT ONCE, AND CREATES EVERYTHING THAT I KNOW TO BE EVERYTHING I QUESTION, AND EVERY SENTENCE I SAY REGURGITATES INTO SOMETHING THAT NO WAY CAN BE TRUE, HONEST OR JUST, MAKING IT ALL BLAMED ON LUST WHEN THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS, DISGUST HAS TAKEN OVER TWO PLUS...

AS I LOOK AROUND, I SEE GREATNESS, POWER AND FAME, BUT LOOK CLOSELY AND ALL THAT IS THERE IS THE PAIN THAT IT CAUSED LONG AGO AND HAS NEVER GOTTEN BACK, MAKING MILLIONS OF ERRORS TURN THE WHITE INTO BLACK. DOES IT EVER MAKE SENSE, WHEN I KNOW WHAT IS REAL, BUT I STILL CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT, IT CAN'T BE, WHY CAN'T I FEEL?

U NEVER KNOW, CAUSE U NEVER SEE, WHAT LIES THERE SO BLATANTLY AND MEANS A WORLD U COULD SEE, IS ALL BLURRY AND SEIZED BY THE POWERS THAT BE THAT CREATE DESTINY.

AND THE ANSWER IS...

is this the end?

             HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUSBAND,
 XO JOE
Adele - Skyfall (Consoul Trainin VENUE Remix)

if the sky falls,

and it crumbles

and then tumbles,

what do we have left.

is it the end?

or do we face it all together,

forever,

as skies fall?

my world has begun to crumble,

as it tumbled,

and i wondered,

where do i begin?

how do i start over?

where do you begin?

if it's the end,

and we have things to guide us

and show us how to start again,

when will it all begin?

where and when does it all begin?

do i deserve the chance to win?

or is it time to forget it all or, then again,

should i move on, close my eyes

and count to ten?

it's all something that matters,

if and only when,

the time has come to look around and then

possibly know just how and when it can regain it's zen...

it's all twisted,

it all makes sense in some other language,

it all isn't important,

yet,

it's the most important thing i can think of right now.

so,

where do we begin?

start from scratch?

erase the past?

ask a friend?

or just relax and know that,

in the end,

it all happens the way it's supposed to.

and then,

everything again,

is as it should be

till the bitter end...

but then again...

so instead i think that i'll defend

the things i struggled so hard to comprehend

that if i stop, even for a moment

i will then descend,

and then,

i've lost the battle

even before i begin again.