People

People who need people
Unfortunately I have to say,
Are very unlucky people.
Especially so if theyre gay.
They'll probably one day truly see
That what i say
I say, indeed,
Because in my life i have seen
Things unbecoming of a queen.
If u were truly royalty
Why would u act so viciously
To someone loyal,
Someone true,
Whos made his lifes mission to
Make the visions in his head
The fantasies you take to bed?
Another thing can be said...
Beyond all that
He gives great head!
Oops again i did it,
Sorry Britney...
But I really miss Whitney...
Now back up a step.
I know you'll get it...
Just take your time and don't forget it,
And get upset if
Something seems out of its context
Maybe even probably
The  things that u think u see
Are just a part of what in reality
Happened and you could have jumped
To conclussions that are fucked up
Because if u knew all the facts
You'd have shut your mouth
Ok?
Step back!

rock with you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkAEq3uL_fw

Boy, close your eyes...

let me get this vision of you i have in your mind...

don't try to fight it,

there aint nothing that you can do...

relax your mind,

lay back and groove with the you i see in my mind

you gotta feel your heat

just trust me cause

you should never feel you're secondary...

just know deep down inside

it's you,

and so from now until forever

you will see you're legendary,

let it happen,

you deserve this

that's why i'm here.

so let it be.

Everything happens for a reason.

it's true.

nothing is accidental,

it's necessary,

so believe in what i say to you.

everyone has their own reason

for entering your life.

only when it's the right season

they are there

and justified.

if you try to fight the feeling

then you might just stop the magic.

because when it's there

it's for that reason

and to lose it would be tragic.

so just go with it

and let the worries in your mind

go away and just realize

it's just one life

and now's your time,

so relax,

enjoy the ride.

Today proved to me all of everything i have inside my mind

is meant to happen

when it happens.

maybe sometimes it seems 

far away from what you dreamed

but when you look back, then forward and then again back

you'll find that what i say

i say

because i know

that it's a million times more beautiful

than you could have ever known.

and so give thanks

and keep smiling

because even though you feel deceived

by some of the hideous things you go through

in the end

they were the things you need

to make certain that you see

that this is what will help take you

to fulfill your destiny.

it's beautiful.

you're beautiful.

it's one time.

it's one life.

there never again will be another.

it's that simple.

so live your dreams.

Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall (Vintage Culture Remix)

sometimes,
quite possinbly
you do need an education.
cause ur never really as smart as ya think ya r
ok?
don't ass-u-me
just cause then
ya look even more foolish when ya get knocked down a few pegs.
lesson taught
lesson learned.
get it?
cause u r like school on a sunday beotch,.
no class

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJd84HhDaA4

HA HA funny

it's funny,
maybe not HA HA funny,
but funny, like...
"dude, that is SOOO NOT FUNNY!"
and when the second version of funny hits you
and you understand that there is no punchline awaiting
that takes the tension off the situation,
and makes everyone in the audience, at first feel a whew, sigh of relief,
and then second makes them break out in a rash of hysterics
thathopefully make you forget exactly what it was that you were so uneasy about
in the first place.

in life the things you learn that make you laugh after you sweat
and then make you breath after you don't
are the things that, generally,
are the most important lessons.
they make you go through an ups and downs scenario so that you have an enormous rush
of internal jitters and stomach cramps that then create sweat beads to form in your brow
that dampen your hair so that it sticks to your forhead and neck,
drip down to your sweater and make the wool fabric get a ripe, almost farmyard-like stench
which makes you sniff and maybe even cough,
a cough that goes down to your depths
of the thing you call a soul
which you thought you didn't even have any longer,
because you were sure it had been sold to the devil years ago...
they aren't the funny things like others that you recall word by word
from a t.v. show or movie,
they are instead similar to that,
except different in that
they make your mind lose control
and make your mouth spew pure venom.
you can try hard as you like
but theres no end in sight
to the relaxed place and time
that you once had far far away in your mind
but theres no turning back,
you can't, and that's that.

i learned a lesson today.
about the friends i thought i could trust
the ones i did a favor for,
the ones i bent over backwards to help
and it shocked me, just for a minute,
when i saw i'd been used
completely abused
and it was not in my grasp
to know what to do
in the situation i now knew
was my own selfish way
of not trying harder to improve.
Quentin Harris, d.j. un-extraordinaire, needed new pictures done
and i didn't hesitate not a one
to ask me to shoot them all not once but twice
and i spent so much of my time
that i almost went blind.
and now here we are almost four months since i've heard
not even a peep
from Quentin about paying me back,
not a peep.

tomorrow i go to court and find out
if eviction is possible
to throw Buddy and me out,
and Quentin knows all of this, yet,
not a word...
funny huh?

like i said, not really a HA HA kinda funny....

change

every morning when he woke up, he had his coffee, walked the dogs, and tried to, maybe, make this day the one that made the difference in turning everything in his life back around to a good place. but today was different...last night ended differently, so, it made sense that it would start in another way too.
before he went to bed, after a long day of stress and a gurgling stomach, he, for no reason at all, said a thank you prayer to the universe, and when he did, it somehow made all the worries from the day disappear. he didn't sleep very well, and not for very long, but when his eyes did finally open just three hours later, he felt rested, not energized, but comfortable, and with a feeling of substance, unlike he had felt in some time. he also felt humble, which, for him, was rare, so he went with it, and jotted out a few thank you emails to people who he had made listen to his drama one to many times recently. it felt good to wash away the past with a simple, yet kind message that he hoped would maybe start their day off with pleasantries also.
it was a new day.c everything seemed different than it had for the past few months...
the sun was shining, it was warm outside, and there was even a different taste to his coffee, and the dogs decided to walk a different path...
maybe something was about to change...

2nd guess

listen to your gut.
i should always do that,
never second guess,
because when i don't, it never fails,
it's gonna be a fucked up.
and i know this,
for certain,
yet, time and time again,
i do not listen when i should
and then discover that once again,
i've stupidly made the same mistake,
and did it again.
but this time i nipped it in the bud.
i stopped it early,
i didn't hesitate,
because i knew that if for one second i procrastinated,
the night would turn into the next day,
tomorrow i'd be awake from kicking myself endlessly
and then feel bad about it for a few days after.
but this time-
the trick was a troll,
i told him to scram,
he did, although dragged his feet,
so i pushed..
and now he's gone,
forever...
and so, i can get to bed,
sleep well,
and enjoy..

fear factor

as many times as he had hit the wall,
fallen off the bike,
and tripped and fell,
in the past he always got back up and tried again.
in the present he was covered in mud,
bruised and bothered
and dust had settled in all the cracks.
it was evident that there was nothing more that he could do
except face the fact that the past was different,
things had changed,
and he had to too.
no more could he rely on what he had done before.
it was time to move up
look beyond
and move on.
the time was now.
his place was uncertain,
his future was unclear,
his mind was until now
untethered and uncensored
but now it was time to undo
everything he had always taken for granted
and start anew.

the facts were clear.
the factor was fear.

the boy who went insane

 



for as much as anyone on the outside could see,
he was doing incredible!
his work was everywhere
but nowhere at the same time...
so from where he sat, he wasn't doing incredible at all.
he always laughed when someone who recognized his name
would gasp in delight,
but then he'd get upset in the same second
wondering why people who could hire him
didn't seem to share that same delight.
it was complex,
it was typical.
it was the way of the world.
those who he brought joy to
could do nothing back for him,
and those who he needed to put food on the table
were either closeted fans
or scared shitless of him.
it's just how things went, usually.
and as much as he tried to make everyone see that he had changed, grown and matured,
become even better at his craft, gotten wiser and endured,
still they remembered only stories
of the boy who went insane.

miracle

miracles happen every day.
more than that, actually.
some may be so tiny to the naked eye that they are never even actually seen
but the change they have caused in everything around them
makes you know for certain they actually happened.
today, waking up, to me,  is considered a small miracle.
the last few months have been traumatic,
nothing seems to be going my way,
i've tried, and tried again,
i've even started beginning to pray.
but there isn't anyone listening.
no one seems to understand
that i'm in a place i can't fathom,
it's foreign to me
i almost always have a plan
and am in control of my destiny.
but not for four years or more.
since then, it'sdifferent,
and i'm not so sure...
everything i've ever known
had hit a wall
and stopped
and now i'm all alone.
questioning the reasons why
my life has somehow become unknown
to me.
and yesterday was a bad day.
i woke up questioning where i was,
who i was with
and what i'd become...
but this morning laying next to me
before my eyes opened,
i heard them breath
and just that tiny thing told me
i was home,
and felt relieved.
that was a miracle,
for me, anyway.
it told me i would be ok.
if only for today.

caverns of his mind

it's amazing, he thought, just how little 

rest and nourishment the body actually really needs...

it occurred to him that his life was probably almost more than half over at this point, and there had been so many precious memories, incredible trips, wonderful times with family and friends, as well as high and low points, of course, but what they all added up to was, in the end, he thought, good. 

there were times he could naturally recall, which he wasn't exactly proud of, but none he would have ever missed, not even a second of. for it was those times that gave him perspective, showed him a different angle, or way to approach something similar, if, God help him, it ever came up. and it was that knowledge that he kept locked away, deep inside the cavers of his mind, that he cherished most, because they let him know, for fact, that yea, he might-a fucked up, but he was still here, he was still strong, and he was still alive.

i don't know

"is there a vending machine on this floor?" were the first words he awoke to this morning. 

"i don't know..." he replied as he shook his head and looked around wondering where the hell am i? 

"i don't know."

he didn't know where when how or why he was in this motel room with a strange black man who when he took a second look at he recalled having incredible sex with...but where did they meet, oh wait, now he recalled, what did it matter, it didn't, after all.

but every now and then when he wasn't under a spell, and the moon wasn't following in retrograde, or there was a moment of off time to be had when the insanity had died, he realized that this was not such an uncommon occurrence his not knowing where he'd been...and then by the time he had his wits about him to try to resolve and complete the task of making sure things changed, he had already forgotten why, because his memory had been burned.

maybe that was why he recently started noticing people shaking their heads when he walked by. not in disapproval, but more in a sadness, for they knew that there was no way of helping this blind man cross the highway, not this man, he wouldn't ever accept help or for that matter, sit and wait for someone to try. his stubbornness was matched only by his talent, and these were the two things that made him a genius, and also tore him up to shreds. 

fuking while on greindr

Get your story straight,

dear God, please,

don't think that i'm as dumb as i look,

okay?

you said that your night was free,

so i said "let's hang out" you said yes,

and then it got mixed up somehow,

when you actually met me...

if for some reason you weren't into it,

just say that girl,

whatever,

your not as i thought you'd be either,

but i handled it correctly

and there it is...

you all of a sudden had made some plans,

with someone, somewhere,

i don't understand...

your "friends" sent you some kind of "reminder'

i guess that's the text you were replying to on Grindr.

i just would love if for one minute

we could start acting like grown ups

and not twits...

but we gays don't know how to be

nice to others, unless, you see,

it will somehow benefit us

and then, well, please...

we bend over backwards

we make a fuss,

but only when it is in the interest of whats good for us.

but i aint stupid!

i'm no fool...

i'll tell u one thing

then i'll let it rest,

is that cool?

i didn't expect

not for a sec

that you and i would ever be

together forever till the end of time

for all of eternity,

but i was funny, i was nice,

i was cordial, and even was pleasant enough to bite my tongue

when you all of a sudden had time for me to take some pics of you(for free),

while your "friends" were waiting.

after you left,

i began debating

what to do about this, so,

here i am ventilating...

chapter 8,497

when his eyes opened this time,

they weren't straining or trying to focus,

but instead they were clear and bright and

 when  they opened they saw the two things that mattered most and that he loved more than anything in the world... his babies. one laying in the crook of his knee, the other curled up in a ball at his side. nothing that he had done the day before seemed to matter anymore, because this was a new day, a new beginning to another chapter that began right now...

frieday

sometimes all it takes is one thing,

maybe just the one person who, happened to be there with you,

in one situation that maybe isn't reputable,

but you did it anyway...

one day, in the one week of the one year of the one life you will ever have.

and that one thing echoes differently than the other mumbo-jumbo you've been hearing in your ear the last few months..

maybe this new one is the one tat

one day makes you 

one hundred percent certain that you are 

one of the only people in the once upon a time place earth, 

once had on it

if even for one day...

 

he used to think that everyone around him felt that everything he did everyday of his life was nothing more than just an insane man filling time with whatever he needs to do to become what he, in his head,

can deal with and can make him feel okay to think that he is maybe is not the only one...

but the crumbling bridges that come from out of the tumbling mounds

of nothing other than simple common grounds that make no mention of what they did before they were even a millisecond of an instant before the second of the dawning

of the very first day they ever became...anything that was even worthy of a name, but before you knew it

it transgressed and transcended 

into another orbit

than from the one millions of light years even,

from where it originally came...

but in the words he actually with his own ears heard

he understood that it maybe could be misconstrued as something other than

what it knew was in fact nothing other than

the simple truth.

and so without further interruption

on the already written somewhere in the stars production that they called everyday life was undeniably all planned out in a strange illegible manuscript uncovered

one day in the future

by someone who is nothing close to anything that even resembles

the thing we now describe and point to and address as 

just an ordinary man.

2-fuckin-day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp1g0r1vX8o

so, r ya ready?

now, i had had quite a day.

i slept well, woke up cause babyboy had to peepee and once i was up, i was up...

i walked the babies and on the way back decided to gewt my ass up n out n just enjoy the day and do shit i shoulda done 2 weeks ago...

i'm checkin my email, and..

4real?!?!?

i get an email from a "friend" who i been asking whats up forever and he says nothing.

ok, right,. so, i stay away, give space, and then i get the email saying he's mad at me cause i owe him coins...but, like, what??? why??? i aint uset cuz i photographed ur fat ass a hundred times naked no less, and didn't get but 2 ents and nothin but drama about getting u the pics asap..retouched.

ugh.

fags is fags n why i'm over them.

until i get home n there is an eviction

otice on my door cause my stupid immigrant landlord cant do the goddamned math, and lie a fuckin idiot, she put in the courts that i owe rent ((when, bitch, i just paid u cash ho, recall dat??) and it was only cause Q H the dj/producer idiot "friend" of mine i shot (who told me she wanted to pay me cuz she knew what happens to artists, bla bla) and still hasnt paid me the fuckin amount, and so, whatever, i owe coins and i am bouncin checks all over nyc cause a her .

i am over over over faggots, so if u are one, either come to me on all 4's ass up (and clean) and ready to get a load dfumped in u, or, get the f78ck outta my face,

good day bitches, i'm out!

"what if""why""maybe"

you would thought that the way he was last week,

everything this week, would have been a nice calm, almost a relief...

but no...

he continued his fast paced routine until h nearly collapsed head first into a bag of popcorn,

the first real meal he'd eaten in what seemed like weeks...

but that's just how he rolled...

never thought "what if"

never questioned "why"

never doubted "maybe"

and always insisted on "cool"

as the answer that made everything seem like it would all somehow work out.

someday maybe.

today he had one last day to make everything right

that wasn't..

but before that even started,

before he even began at step one,

he needed too close his eyes and sleep,

at least for an hour

and then everything would at least be...

tolerable...

at the very least...

https://twitter.com/joeoppedisano

http://joeoppedisano.tumblr.com/ 

https://www.facebook.com/#!/joe.oppedisano.31 

ffone sexxx

    i aint talkin bout phone sex now...ok, so, listen up faggots!

when did we become so busy that we forgot the very basic, simple skill of picking up a phone and calling someone, or, answering when they call?

is text really a legitimate form of communication when it's actually easier to pick up a phone and just call someone and tell them something? why are we so baffled when things get mixed up and confused that things didn't go right when the person tried calling you, but ya didn't pick up cause you were screening the goddamned call?!

please people...grow up (or even better-remember that you are forty plus years old), and the phone is primarily for SPEAKING to someone!

that's all...

every day

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zzP29emgpg

every day when he woke up

first thing he did after walking his two loyal best friends,

his dogs, and then made his coffee,

he went to his desk, turned on his computer,

and said

"today is a new day, i will make a change."

consciously hoping yet

understandably knowing

that things had to get better...

for they couldn't get worse.

he had hit walls,

fallen down

picked himself up

again and again

but there was never any sign of relief,

of an end,

of comfort,

but then again...

when he looked at his vision

and understood what he had done

he realized that deep inside

he had grown and blossomed.

maybe today would be different.

maybe he just had to push on...

maybe life would turn around,

maybe not,

but possibly...

he would try, nevertheless...

 

circus city

as the circus tents shutbehind them
the crowded streets of the real world in which they lived,
manhattan,
were the same as they always were..
bustling with cars with honking horns,
tourists with maps,
locals with impatience,
and hot dog vendors with salmonella.
if he had been looking at this on any other day
it would have all seemed normal.
but today
not in the same state of mind,
it seemed like a wonderland of insanity...
the air felt so cold, fresh, and clean...
the noise that usually was,
was not today
for the music of the circus had deafened his ears.
and then as if it were November,
it started to snow...
and the city felt like the fairytale place
he had always dreamed it would be...

fb update

Joe Oppedisano

5 hours ago

in the city that never sleeps, it's almost shocking when you are awakened by the sound of something so simple as something different is happening, for the very first time, in all of history...because, well, haven't we seen it, done it, had ...it all before? but this weekend the circus comes to town, and the sound of Honey Dijon spinning records at the Black Party will be the first time ever we hear the sounds of a sister, and not just any sister, but a black sister, who happens to be also trans gender...the walls are crumbling down...we are maybe, just maybe, becoming people worth something more than just a three dollar bill we are associated with.... werq Honey! tear it up!See More

(6 photos)

Like · · Share

• Johnny Fogarty, Ray Ramirez, Chris Hindman and 29 others like this.
• 

  Gregory Demers so does that mean ill see you at 6am on sunday morning at roseland?

  4 hours ago · Like · 1
• 

  Neeraj Tiwari All The Picture Are Beautiful ...

  3 hours ago · Like
• 

  Quohnos U. Mitchell WERK!!!...

  8 minutes ago via mobile · Like
• 

  Joe Oppedisano yes Greg n Quonisha, look for me, i'll be the one in hot pink tafetta and acid green leg warmers...

  2 minutes ago · Like · 1